5’s Company 1

Warning; for sheer stupidity, het sex, slash sex, a fivesome, toys, anal
Author: xxxevilgrinxxx and NJRD
Title: 5’s Company
Rating: NC17 group sex, het and slash, toys, anal
Fandom: AU/ BR/TFATF/PAC/XXX
Disclaimer: Shane Wolfe, Chris Varick, Dom Toretto and Xander Cage all belong to their respective movies. 5’s Company is a play on words from the old TV show “Three’s Company” and “Mrs Groper” is quite clearly taken from ‘Mrs Roper’
Summary: Movie night at Elaine and Nuria’s place is usually a blast, but Murphy’s law states that if something can go wrong, it will, and everything goes wrong
Pairing: Elaine/Nuria/Shane/Chris/Dom/Xander in various combinations
Archive: vx/fdb
Feedback: feedback in this thread only, please no shreds, thanks. Also, as there are two real people in this smutty story indulging in a bit of innocent play, please be respectful.
A/N: This is a completely silly little story we dreamt up, about a sexual encounter where EVERYTHING went wrong. We put ourselves in the story, because the idea of inflicting this on some unsuspecting OFC’s seemed cruel and unusual.

+++

Elaine heard the phone in their apartment ringing when she was halfway down the hall. Every fucking time. He called her when she was in the bathroom, or when something was on fire in the kitchen, when she left the apartment. Or like now, when she was halfway down the hall with the grocery bags threatening to fly apart and send oranges and lettuces and a really big tube of lube scattered down the hallway of her and Nuria’s apartment.

Shane. It had to be Shane. That guy had some weird sort of fucked up phone radar. Hurrying her steps, she ran the remaining few feet and pressed the bags against the door while she fished out her keys, muttering as the phone kept ringing and ringing.

Finally, she got the door open, raced inside, throwing the grocery bags on the kitchen counters and then doing a crazy dance as the oranges rolled out all over the floor.

With a weird yell, she leapt over the back of the sofa and reached out for the phone, gasping, “Hello, Shane?”
Shane held the phone away from his ear for a moment, giving the earpiece a funny look. “You’re panting, are you okay?”

Her mouth opened, a smart ass reply ready to fly out, and then she shook her head. “I just got home. Are you still coming over for movie night?”

“Yeah! In fact I was calling to ask you. Would it be okay if I bring a friend of mine?” Shane sobered a little. “He broke up with his girlfriend and could use some fun.”

Elaine grinned. Fresh meat, huh? “Sure, bring him with. It’ll be cool.”

At that very moment, the door of the apartment flew open and Nuria stormed in, bouncing up and down in excitement.

“I did it! I did it!” She squealed, running blindly inside causing Elaine to arch her brows at once and Shane to grin, shaking his head at the other side of the line. Nuria was completely nuts. “I asked him for a date and he said ‘yes’!!!”

Nuria was so excited that she didn’t notice a couple of oranges that had rolled out of the kitchen, ending up in the middle of the salon. Stepping on them she lost her balance, falling on her butt with a loud thump and squeezing the orange juice out of the fruit, sending the orange acid gushing directly to Elaine’s eyes.

“Goddamnit!!” Elaine let out a yelp, squeezing her eyes shut as the citric liquid sent a ray of pain to her eyeballs. Her screeching sound stabbed Shane’s brain and he cursed aloud. Elaine then dropped the phone and wildly rubbed her eyes, muttering obscenities under her still ragged breath.

Nuria could only imagine what it must sound like to their neighbours, as Elaine swore about the ‘fucking oranges’. Of course, their neighbours had heard, over the years, quite a few odd things from their apartment. Yelling about oranges was probably pretty tame.

Getting up off her butt, Nuria picked up the smashed remains of the orange and tossed it into the kitchen sink, taking note of where the other ones had ended up. Then she moved nimbly around the couch and picked up the phone.
Shane was on the other side saying, ‘hello?’ softly. Guess he knew somebody would pick it up sooner or later.

“So, Shane, are you supplying the movies tonight? I think we’ve gone through everything in the porn collection here.” Nuria grinned into the phone. Even movie night was an interesting affair in their apartment.

“Not only bringing new movies, but I’m bringing a friend too. Chris. You’ve met Chris, right?”

Nuria grinned like a goof at the mention of Chris’ name. Hell yeah! She had met Mr. Varick, though she hadn’t met him the way she would have liked. Partially because he was dating someone, sort of, and partially because that old Spanish saying; ‘donde tengas la olla, no metas la polla.’ You don’t shit where you eat.

Back in the day, Nuria had been Chris’ lawyer and she had gotten the sexy as hell broker out of that mess at JT Marlin with little more than a reprimand and a not so high fine. Nuria may be nuts, but she was also a hell of a lawyer. She knew every single trick to get away with whatever she wanted. However, it would have been very unprofessional to get involved with her client in any other way. But now, since she wasn’t his lawyer anymore…

“Oh, Chris…” Nuria drawled out the name in a sensual whisper, causing Elaine to snap her good eye open, grinning in spite of her still blurry vision and dull pain. Nuria turned to Elaine, still talking into the phone. “You’ve met Chris, right Elaine?”

Chris? Elaine’s grin widened as her mind wandered back to the only occasion he had ‘met’ him.

Chris had phoned Nuria and she wasn’t at home yet. So Elaine had answered the phone. What had started as just a business phone call, ended up turning into mind-blowing phone sex.

“Oh hell yeah, I know Chris. His voice anyway. What’s the rest of him like?” Elaine half leered; it looked a little funny, what with the orange juice and the now-red eyes.

Nuria looked at her and grinned, shaking her head. Chris had told her about that phone call, and Nuria had giggled for a week every time she had looked at her roommate. “The rest of him, wow. It’s too bad he was a client at the time or…”

Snatching the phone from Nuria, Elaine rolled away on the couch, with Nuria making a mad grab for the phone. There was no way to know what crazy shit Elaine might say, left to her own devices. Her face half buried in the cushions, with Nuria both pulling at her and sitting on her, laughing, Elaine again took up the conversation with Shane. Only with more giggling this time.

“The orgy video, Shane!” Elaine broke out in a fit of giggles as Nuria started to tickle her to get her to give up the phone. “Bring ALL the orgy videos.” Elaine knew he had quite a few, she had only watched about half of them, and it had been enough to leave her panting for the rest of the day. “And batteries, bring batteries. Oh, and bring that new LUBE!”

At that last, Nuria fell over on the couch, laughing her ass off. Elaine thought everything could be solved, if only there was enough lube. There was all kinds in the house. Thin lube for so-called ‘normal’ sex. Whatever the hell that was. Thick viscous lube for anything more heavy duty. Scented lube, flavored lube. Stuff that got hot, stuff that tingled. Some people picked up ashtrays or towels or souvenirs everywhere they went. Elaine picked up lube.

Hanging up the phone, Elaine turned around on the couch, lying on her back, grinning as usual.

“More lube, huh?” Nuria cocked an eyebrow at her, smirking over the can of diet coke she had opened.

“This stuff’s supposedly incredible. It’s like silk, doesn’t have to be re-applied all the time, doesn’t get sticky.” Elaine leered from her place on the couch. “Anal’s a dream.”

That cracked Nuria up, and she had to put down her coke before it came out of her nose. She knew that this is where Elaine’s fascination for lube really came from. She loved anal, but there was always something wrong with the lube. Nuria believed it wasn’t just for variety that Elaine bought lube wherever she could find it; it was in search of the perfect anal lube. It still cracked her up.

When they had both stopped giggling, Elaine looked over the cushions. “So, who did you invite over for movie night?”

Nuria grinned, as she thought about him again. “Dom.”

Elaine straightened up in one second, gasping. “Oh, you little slut!” She teased Nuria, grinning.

“Yours faithfully.” Nuria replied and both cracked up again, giggling madly.

Nuria had been building up the courage to ask Dominic Toretto out for several days, since the day her car left both women stuck in the middle of the highway and the half-Italian half-Cuban mechanic had showed up like a knight in shining armor. Only thing was, instead of riding a white horse, he had been riding a tow truck.

Nuria and Elaine had wet their pants hearing Dom talking about radiators, distilled water and who knew what else. They hadn’t gotten shit about the meaning of what he was saying of course, but just hearing his voice had been enough.

From that day on, Nuria had been daydreaming of that sexy voice for weeks now and finally today she had showed up at his garage, asking him to join her and her best friend for a movie night.

“I take it the ‘Goddess of Blowjobs’ will perform tonight, eh?” Elaine winked, a mischievous gaze sparkling in her eyes.

“Why of course,” Nuria giggled, “need my extra charge of vitamins, proteins and minerals.”

Elaine fell back on the couch, laughing out loud at that. If Elaine loved anal sex, Nuria was a natural cocksucker. She loved to suck cock, all of them and couldn’t have enough of it.

When people asked Nuria from where she got such an energy level, she always answered that her trick was to follow a strict diet consisting of swallowing semen at least once a day. Too bad people didn’t believe her, because she wasn’t kidding.

“So, we have Shane, and Chris and Dom. Shane definitely knows about movie night. Chris has heard about movie night. Aren’t you worried you’re going to scare the hell out of Dom?” Elaine laughed quietly, remembering the look on Shane’s face when he ended up in bed with both roommates. That was something he definitely hadn’t expected.

“I let him know a little. What kind of movies is always a big clue, and I mentioned that there would be a couple of other people over. He got that ‘look’.” Nuria leaned back on the couch and rolled her eyes. Every guy got that look. Sexy roommates living together. Porn movies. A few people coming over. It generally didn’t require a lot of convincing. “I don’t think he’s going to run screaming from the building.”

Elaine was about to say something when there was a knock on the door. Both women grinned and rolled their eyes. Even when they couldn’t see Shane, they knew it was him. Even his knock was military. “Let me get this orange juice out of my eye, hon.”

Elaine padded off to the bathroom, and Nuria went to answer the door.

Shane and Chris were standing shoulder to shoulder, a huge military haversack at their feet and two plastic bags with at least six packs of batteries and that brand new lube; tons of it actually. Nuria laughed glancing down at it.
“I see you did your homework, sweetheart.” She giggled, hugging Shane.

“Yeah, you bet, baby.” He replied, encircling Nuria’s body, squeezing her butt making her squeal in delight.

Shane had definitely learnt his lesson well since his last ‘movie night’ with Elaine and Nuria. He was not making the same mistake twice. His cock couldn’t agree more and was grateful for it too.

This time Shane was not only bringing every single damn thing Elaine asked for, but he was also leaving his prudishness and shyness at home. He was not running the risk of another ‘punishment’ at the hands of those two sexy women again. The memory of having his hands tied up at his back while watching Elaine and Nuria going down on each other, thrusting huge dildos in their tight, wet pussies just about killed him, especially considering he couldn’t touch himself until they were done with each other.

“I’m sure you remember Chris.” Shane added, releasing Nuria so she could say ‘hi’ to her ex-client.

“Mr. Varick, what a wonderful surprise.” Nuria said, extending her hand. Chris grinned cockily and kissed it, meeting her lustful gaze with a leer.

“Indeed, Miss. Jurado.” He replied, winking seductively.

“Yummy surprise I would say.” Elaine giggled, peering around Nuria’s shoulder and giving a slow once over to Chris. Damn! Nuria was right; Chris was hotter than a bbq in the desert. Then she glanced at Shane. “Did you bring my lube, sunshine?”

Shane jiggled the bag at his feet and took a half step back in surprise when Elaine jumped across the distance into his arms, giggling. “Good, wouldn’t want to have to ‘punish’ you again.” Elaine leaned back in Shane’s arms, towards Nuria, certain that he wouldn’t let her fall. “Not that it would be such a bad thing.”

The two men groaned aloud as the roommates shared a brief but fiery kiss. With Elaine still in his arms, Shane turned to Chris and spoke. “You know, there was a time when I thought movie night was just about watching movies.”

Chris broke into a huge smile, before he gently pulled Nuria to him, to kiss her cheek. “We should take this out of the hallway though.” He grinned up at Shane, who still hadn’t put Elaine down.

Shane smirked back at Chris and, still holding Elaine, he leaned down to pick up the haversack with the movies and lube, leaving the fancier stuff for Chris to deal with. Chris and Nuria brought in the beer and set about looking for an ice bucket.

Elaine peeked over Shane’s shoulder and, whispering in his ear, asked, “champagne?”

“It’s supposed to make women giggly, and makes it easier to get into their pants. Or so I’ve heard.” Shane dropped her gracefully onto the couch on her back, with him firmly between her legs. He swore to give up shy with her, at least within the apartment.

“Like I really need to be more giggly.” Her hand covered her mouth as she laughed quietly.

Shane got serious for a moment and leaned down to nuzzle her neck, his voice quiet. “I don’t want you to get too looped, are you sure you don’t want to eat something first?”

She squiggled in his arms and reached for something under the coffee table, before pulling out one of the oranges that had rolled under there earlier in the day and held it up in triumph. “Aha! Are you going to feed me now?”

Shane smirked before he sat up and gave her a quick kiss before he yelled into the kitchen. “Are we ordering out for something now or later?”

Nuria peeked around the wall from the kitchen, her face flushed. “A movie first, and then we’ll eat something.” She was pulled back into the kitchen again.

“I bet you’re already eating!” Elaine called out, unclasping Shane’s pants, licking her lips in anticipation.
“Mh..mm” Was all Nuria could reply. Hard to speak with Chris’ cock buried in her throat.

“Oh, fuck…” Chris whispered, shuddering. He felt the vibrations of Nuria’s hums all the way up his very core. She was sucking him as if her life depended on it and she was enjoying it as much as Chris was.

He wasn’t within the roommates’ apartment ten minutes and he was already in heaven. Not even in Chris’ wildest sex fantasies could he conjure what kind of pleasures laid ahead of him. He fucking loved it and was having a hard time keeping himself from coming too damn fast.

Hearing Chris cursing between moans and groans of pure bliss caused Elaine and Shane to laugh quietly. This was going to be a hell of a ‘movie night’, that was for sure. Unforgettable. Memorable even.

Shane’s skilled hands pulled up Elaine’s top, exposing her stomach. Elaine giggled and leaned back, never breaking eye contact with him.

The fact that Shane was doing his best to show his wildest side fascinated Elaine. She knew it hadn’t been an easy task for him considering how reserved he had been when she had first met him, and she was determined to reward his great efforts.

Shane grinned, crushing an orange in his fist. The citric liquid poured down Elaine’s naked tummy and his grin died on his lips.

“Damn, what a mess.” Shane whispered, pretending to be concerned. He then shook his head, frowning slightly.
“Guess I should clean it, right?”

Elaine laughed quietly, shivering in anticipation. “You better. I gave the cleaning lady the week off and…”

Shane dipped his head, cutting off Elaine’s words as soon as the flat of his tongue licked its way up her sternum, playing with her abdominal muscles. More drops of orange juice ran down Elaine’s belly and continued sliding down until they were lost under her cargo pants.

Shane grinned against Elaine’s skin and licked his way down. His greedy tongue sending jolts of pleasure through Elaine’s body down between her legs to her already wet pussy.

Elaine moaned and relaxed completely. Shane had a tongue there, no doubt and he knew how to use it, that was for sure.

In a fluid movement, Shane sat back, keeping himself on his knees above Elaine’s legs and started unbuttoning her cargoes.

Then he bent his head and the tip of his tongue playfully poked inside Elaine’s navel, tickling her.

“No! I’m ticklish!” She squealed and unintentionally kneed Shane’s groin, sending him off the couch with a shout of pain. “Oh, no, Shane!”

“Fuck!!” Shane landed on his knees, grabbing his balls with his hands. His torso completely bent over and his eyes shut, tears already prickling down his cheeks. He had been hard as a rock.

Had being the operative word. Elaine leaned over the couch, her hand on his back, her head close to his. She hated the idea that she had hurt him; playing around was one thing, but getting hurt was something else altogether. At least not without consent.

Finished in the kitchen, Nuria and Chris peeked around the corner, Nuria still on her knees. “Fuck, Shane! You sorry bastard, are you okay?!”

Chris’ booming voice startled Shane, and he sat up suddenly, conking Elaine’s head with his own, the resounding thonk echoing in the living room.

“Ach!” Elaine grabbed her head and fell back on the couch, and now Shane was holding both his aching head and his aching balls, unsure of where to go next. He leaned in towards Elaine, slower this time, and sat beside her on the couch until they were both leaning on each other.

“Sorry, I’m sorry…” Shane held Elaine cuddled against his chest briefly. Her body shook against him, and he was afraid he had hurt her. Then she snorted, only to begin shaking again a second later. Shane smiled when he recognized it. She was laughing so hard that no sound came out of her, except for the occasional snort as she tried to breathe.

Chris and Nuria came out from the kitchen; Nuria sitting on Elaine’s side and Chris standing over Shane, there being no room to sit on the couch at his side.

“You crazy woman, you better breathe or you’re going to black out and that’s no joke.” Nuria was biting the edge of her lip as she scolded Elaine to breathe. It was hard to watch her laugh like that and not burst out laughing with her; it was contagious.

Shane turned around to look up at Chris and his head pulled back as his eyes widened. “Damn, Chris. Why don’t you tuck that thing in?” Shane had turned, coming face to face with Chris’s cock, still wet from Nuria’s mouth. Shane cast a more appreciative glance at Nuria into the bargain.

“Why bother? I’m not done with ‘that thing’ anyway.” Nuria smirked, batting her eyelashes, the pure resemblance of innocence written all over her face save for the lustful leer sparkling in her eyes.

Elaine snorted, gasping for breath as Chris cracked up laughing. It was fine with him. He was game. However, Shane frowned a little. He couldn’t say that he felt that comfortable with Chris’ cock that close to his face. But the ex-SEAL would be damned if he voiced it aloud. No matter what, he would fuck Elaine and Nuria over the course of the night.

The thought of it sent a stir to his bruised cock and he winced lightly. Shit! Shane hoped he still could get hard. Oh, hell, it wasn’t as if his little soldier hadn’t messed up in worse situations though always rising victorious. Once a SEAL, always a SEAL, well, at least a SEAL’s cock, that is.

Elaine’s head throbbed a little and she winced even though she was still laughing.

“Gee, Shane, you’ve got a thick head.” Elaine giggled, feeling a little lump already forming on her scalp. At her best friend’s words Nuria cracked up again.

“And…and his head is not the only thing,” Nuria managed to say between laughs, “he’s hard as a rock.”

All the gazes fixed on Shane’s groin. With the little mess his own cock had sprung free from his pants and the purple head was peering up over the opened buttons of his pants.

“Talk about tucking my ‘thing’ in.” Chris smirked.

Elaine giggled and leaned forward a bit to have a better look. She was still worried she had hurt Shane. “You okay, sunshine?” She whispered as gently she caressed the head with her thumb.

Shane groaned, his eyes fluttering closed for a brief second. Yeah! He was okay, very okay actually. He had been right. His cock was as tough as he was.

“Yeah, baby. You?” Shane replied, carefully stroking Elaine’s head, cringing inwardly when he felt the little lump.

Elaine smiled. Shane was damn sweet. She opened her mouth to answer when a playful knock on the door caught their attention.

Shane and Chris looked at each other, frowning. Who was coming over?

next…