I bring you coffee as you sit on the floor, taking your disassembled rifle from your bag, cleaning and putting it back together expertly, your hands moving with a will of their own.
I sit across from you, watching, as you pull equipment from the small bag. Small pen light. Ammo. You prefer smaller knives, and have several, the switchblade rests on the small counter by the coffee, removed earlier. Straight razor. Circle of wire. It makes me nervous, the thought of you getting close enough to someone to kill with it. Aside from the rifle, everything else is a personal weapon, you like to get close, maybe you were just trained that way, but something tells me it’s how you prefer it.
The rifle has a military harness, everything else is something that can be carried on you. The explosives go into the bag. We had gone through the scenario earlier, about taking down the sentries, killing the power. We’re both as prepared as we’re going to be for this. I have to admit, it’s a little weird to be breaking into something, after a lifetime spent breaking out of places.
You read the files in the dark, won’t let me turn on a light for you. Said it’s easier to adjust to seeing in the dark if you leave the lights off.
Now it’s just the wait. I feel every minute ticking away from me. In less than twelve hours, we’ll be at the Lupus system, and I’ll have to stay up front. Here, you can’t go anywhere, and I have you to myself. What will happen when this is all over, I don’t know, but I don’t like to think about it. The idea that you might just pick up and leave me when it’s done is something that kicks me in the gut. You’re mine, Ava, and I don’t want to let you go.
I run through my head how I’d like to spend those hours with you. In the end, all I want to do is sleep with you.
Everything is set out, ready. I know we don’t have long now, and it’s always a comfort to be prepared. You take my hand, and bring me back to bed. Laughing to myself, I’m beginning to wonder if I just should have stayed undressed. We lay side by side, curled up like
spoons. Your hand between my breasts, nuzzled in my ear. I can feel you stiffen, but you stay still, until you relax again.
“Don’t wake up before me Ava, I want to wake up with you here.”
A whisper, in my ear, before you fall asleep.