We have the house all to ourselves. Mia took the kids and with one of the families who live a couple of houses down the street, they went to have dinner at the centre. Ricardo told me it was okay, that that couple are legal and well known. If not he wouldn’t have let his sons go out with them.
I’m not sure where Ricardo and Elaine are right now. Last time I saw them they were in the backyard and that was a couple of hours ago. Ricardo was sitting on a hammock with Elaine straddling his hips and big dark guy was holding her, murmuring something against her ear. Elaine was shaking slightly like she was crying quietly. Then they started to kiss each other and I came upstairs to check on Hanna.
I guess just like Hanna and I, Ricardo and Elaine have to solve their problems. I wouldn’t say big dark guy has an easy path ahead of him but I figure he’s the kind of man who knows how to make things right with his wife. At the end they had been married for ten years and that means something. Ricardo is not a man who promises you shit and now that he knows about Elaine’s fears, he has to face his own lies.
I wonder if, just like what I’ve been doing, Ricardo has been fooling himself, pretending everything was okay. I figure hearing Elaine talking like she did was a fucking wake up call because I bet he wasn’t expecting it. Ricardo has been keeping his family as far away as possible from his ‘job’, but the truth is that finally the crude reality has crushed him down with the force of a hurricane.
Elaine has been suffering in silence and even though I suspect she would never ask him to leave that side life he’s living in the darkness, I don’t think big dark guy is going to be able to keep going any longer now that he knows how she feels.
I can’t say shit because it’s not like I’ve done much better than Ricardo. We’ve been hurting our women, following our selfish concept of life. What a couple of heartless fuckers we make.
I run my hand across Hanna’s hair, staring at her sleeping face. She looks so beautiful, so sweet, so innocent, so fragile. No one would be able to figure out the living hell she went through and is still going through watching her peaceful face. Her head is resting comfortably on her pillow and she’s holding against her chest mine. Her breath is even and her lips are slightly parted.
Unable to resist myself, I bend down, kissing her soft lips, just a brush. Hanna shifts restlessly but doesn’t wake up. I tilt my head back a little, staring at her face as I realize I would be able to keep watching her sleep for the rest of my life and I wouldn’t grow tired.
I’ve been watching her sleeping for the last two hours and for the first time she hasn’t been turning and tossing while having a nightmare. In fact she seems more relaxed than ever before and not even drops of cold sweat are breaking on her pale skin.
I make myself a little more comfortable at her side and slowly I rest my hand upon her hip, absently stroking the fabric of her white cotton panties, tracing circles with my fingertips. Hanna looks like a little girl who is sleeping with her teddy bear tightly clutched in her arms. I wonder what she is dreaming about or with whom.
Now that I think about it I never asked Hanna before what her dreams were about. I have no clue if when she was a little girl Hanna dreamt she was a princess, trapped in a tower, waiting for her brave gentle knight in shining armor who came to rescue her just like she told me Lena dreamt about. I bet Hanna’s gentle knight was actually a dark one and probably with Ricardo’s resemblance. Damn! Why I never asked Hanna about her dreams?
She asked me about mine. I have to say I was predictable and when I was a kid I always dreamt about racing cars. Of course I won each and every single race and then I used to go up the podium, lifting my open arms and people were applauding me. My dad was there too and he always said to me that he was proud. Later on, when I grew up a little more my dreams didn’t change too much, the only new addition was the chicks. I was always surrounded by beautiful chicks that were cheering and clasping her hands. All of them dressed in tight outfits, leaving almost nothing to the imagination and all of them breathtaking.
Then Hanna showed up in my life and my dreams changed completely. No more stunning chicks with the exception of Hanna. I still raced but we were living in a luxury house, surrounded by all kinds of expensive shit. Cars, exclusive clothes, jewels and the like. I dreamt I was living like a fucking king, making love to her every single day.
A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I look at Hanna. My current dreams have nothing to do with those I had before everything started to fall apart or when I was a kid, not even with the ones I had in Lompoc.
When I was locked in prison and even though I didn’t want to, I always ended dreaming of her. No matter how many times I told myself I hated her, my subconscious didn’t seem to give shit. I can’t believe back then I lived those dreams like an unbearable torture; like an endless painfully punishment for my damn selfishness.
I lost count of how many times I dreamt about Hanna while I was lying on my bunk bed inside of my cell, fantasizing about her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes, grayish sparks around the pupils, sparkling like stars when she was staring at my eyes. With her soft smile when she was teasing me and her rich laughter when I made her laugh heartily with my ironically cynic sense of humour and my sharp comments. With her hoarse smoky voice when she was whispering my name, Dominic, her face a breath away from my face as her soft lips were caressing mine. With her pale skin contrasting with my tanned skin, both of us covered with a thin veil of sweat after the best mind-blowing sex. With her naked body, writhing and trembling underneath me while I was making love to her.
Now I only dream about Hanna being safe and secure and for me to be able to embrace her without causing her to jump, wince or tense as soon as I’m close to her. I don’t give a shit about where or how we are going to live, that’s it if we survive long enough to have to think about that. I don’t fucking care anymore if I don’t race my dad’s car or any other car again. All I want is to erase each painful memory, making new ones, better ones.
Her body, that is now scarred with countless bruises, burns and scars has been used and abused so many times I don’t even know how she still manages to keep her sanity almost intact. How much damage can be done to a human being until the mind and the soul and the heart are broken completely? And all of sudden I remember Anderson’s daughter who killed herself because she couldn’t get over the rage, the guilt, the pain and the shame of being savagely raped by two fuckers.
I suspect I would have gone crazy at this point if I would have been subjected to what half of what Hanna has been enduring. And I don’t even dare to think about what’s still left to do. Damn! I can’t help it and I wonder if Fate is going to fuck Hanna again. How much shit is she going to go through until she can enjoy some peace of mind?
I don’t think I’m that strong and I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to heal her one more time. How the fuck am I going to fix this mess? Fuck! And here I thought Lompoc was a living hell. Oh, God, how wrong I’ve been; how fucking wrong?
I grit my teeth, swallowing my sudden nausea back down my throat when I think I abused her too, that night at the motel. I used her body for my own selfish release. I unleashed all my anger, frustration and pain at once, letting my rage lead my unforgivable actions, punishing her for what I thought was her betrayal, not giving a fuck about the consequences. I had no excuse for my unacceptable behavior, not that I’m searching for any. I had no right to treat her the way I did. Who the fuck was I to punish her?
No matter that she let me do it; no matter that she nodded her consent. I don’t give a shit if she thought she deserved it. I don’t give a damn if Hanna thought she was the only one to be blamed for what was my own fault. That doesn’t change the fact that I abused her just like that bastard she thought was her father, just like Reynaldo, just like Snake and his men. How could I be so fucking blind?
Now I know Hanna never betrayed me; she never betrayed my love. No matter how many pretty lies I told myself to justify my actions, no matter how hard I tried to fool myself, saying she deserved it. I’m going to have to live with the fact that I’ve never been man enough for her. And no matter that Hanna did forgive me for all the hurt and pain I caused her because I won’t forgive myself.
Every single man who crossed path with her, including me, hurt her in some way. Every single man with the exception of big dark guy. Funny how a scary motherfucker like Ricardo Montenegro has been the only one taking care of her since the very first time they met, never taking advantage of her in any way, always making sure she was safe.
I wished with all my heart and soul for Hanna to suffer endlessly because what she did to me and hell if my wish hasn’t been granted. Damnit!
How the fuck am I going to heal her if I can’t touch her? How the hell am I going to heal her if Hanna won’t stand my close presence without having a panic attack? How am I going to heal her if each time I see her naked body I have to swallow my anger because each mark is a constant reminder of what Snake did to her?
Now I understand Elaine’s words and that’s the reason why I have to find a way to reach Hanna again. I have to find a way to make up for all the damage every single fucker, including myself, or better said, especially myself caused on her body, mind, heart and soul.
Once I wished for her to suffer, well then now is the time to wish something else. It’s time to find the courage to face my own insecurities and fears. It’s time to grab a hold of this messy situation, solving it for once and all. Now it is the fucking right time to face my own guilt, my shame, my pain and my anger.
I sigh hard, looking down at Hanna as my hand slides down from her hair, stroking her cheek with my knuckles. Oblivious to the world, Hanna turns her head into my soft caress, mumbling my name softly. Dominic.
I grin lightly; thinking about how such a simple act means so much for me. It hurts each time I hold her and she tenses unconsciously. It hurts like a bitch when I touch her and she jerks involuntarily, and my heart breaks a little more each and every single time.
“Fuck, Hanna, how am I going to heal you, baby?”
“Wanna give me a massage?”
Hanna almost gave me a cardiac arrest when I heard her asking me such a simple question. Not because her voice sounded shy, hesitant and hoarser than ever before. Not because her beautiful green eyes were staring at mine, sparkling with a mix of fierce determination and fear. Not even because she was holding her breath waiting for my answer, blushing lightly. But because of what the meaning those simple words hid for both of us.
Other chicks, including Letty always asked for a massage but never exactly wanted one. For all of them it meant a different kind of foreplay before I fucked them six ways from Sunday. But for Hanna it means much more than that because sex is not the goal here.
My brain keeps playing her words again and again, dancing inside my mind in the rhythm of Marvin Gaye’s sexual healing. The song is playing softly; the text just a faint soundtrack flowing almost as if a soft whisper in the wind. Never before has a melody held so much meaning for me.
We need to share this intimacy; we desperately need to touch each other, to lose ourselves in the sensations of being together again. I need to touch her skin but not to take care of her wounds or to satisfy my physical needs, but to revel in the fact that she’s alive. I need to heal her soul once and for all, and damn it all if I’m going to let anything or anyone gets in the middle of us.
I wouldn’t be surprised because in the end I heard them talking about the massage, but I am. Its one thing to talk about it and another complete different thing is to actually ask for it. I had always known that Hanna was brave, but damn! She’s the only woman I know with guts to face her fears with such determination that I feel like crying. Hanna may look weak but sure as hell she’s stronger than she suspects.
Hanna is standing in front of the counter in the bathroom, her hands resting at the edge and she’s looking at me through the reflection in the mirror. She’s wearing a bathrobe and her hair is tied up in a ponytail.
Hanna just took a shower and she insisted on me letting her do it alone. I didn’t argue with her because I knew she needed that time with herself to make up her mind. I also needed some time alone to think about how I was going to do this.
Hanna is mad at herself because she can’t control what is happening to her. She can’t control her fears, her automatic reactions and that’s part of the problem we have to deal with.
It’s not the first time I’ve given Hanna a massage but this time is different. Back then there were a lot of lies, half truths and secrets between us. Those lies are not casting a shadow over our lives anymore but now there’s an invisible damn wall that wasn’t there before, and I have to find a safe way to break that wall, avoiding hurting her in the process.
The last thing I want is to hurt her in any way but I’m afraid I have no other choice. I know that whatever I’m gonna do is going to unleash Hanna’s panic. I only hope for once I’m man enough to meet the challenge and to be on top of the things.
I’m leaning against the doorframe, staring back at her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes with their grayish sparks around the pupils are pleading me to encourage her, to help her get over her panic.
I know Hanna just like she knows me and I’m almost sure that right now she has to be wondering why the hell she suggested a massage. I bet she’s desperately searching for an excuse to get out of this. Too bad I already made up my mind and I’m not letting her go with it. But in spite of my firm determination I would kill myself before I consciously and deliberately hurt her again and that’s the reason why I’m not moving forward, crossing the distance between us…yet.
Hanna’s fighting an internal battle with herself, doing her best to not show me her fear, but she’s a shitty actress. I know right now she’s scared to death and that she’s struggling with herself. Nevertheless there she is, holding my intense gaze almost defiantly. However I suspect her bravado might turn panic in a matter of seconds and I don’t want her having a panic attack before I even have the precious chance to show her what I got in store for her.
“Hi.” She whispers as a shaky breath escapes her mouth.
“Hi.” I say as I move forward, stopping right behind her. Hanna tenses visibly but she doesn’t move an inch.
Slowly I lift my hands, loosening her ponytail and Hanna shakes her head lightly making her hair fall upon her shoulders. I lean forward, burying my face in it and taking a deep breath I inhale, filling my lungs and my senses with her scent; that sweet mix of lilacs and cinnamon. No arousal…yet.
I close my eyes, feeling how her heart skips a beat, matching mine as her breath stills for a second just to join my breath as we both start breathing in time. I open my eyes again meeting her gaze as in slow motion I encircle her waist, pulling her to me.
Hanna tenses but almost unconsciously she leans back a little resting her head against my shoulder. That’s it, baby, just relax.
My hands are resting upon her belly as I bend my head a little, resting my chin upon her shoulder, our eyes locked. Hanna swallows hard as she tilted her face, pressing it against my cheek and her hands rest on mine, our fingers interlacing.
“How much did you hear?” she whispers, her eyes flickering to mine.
“Everything.” I answer, squeezing her hands gently. Hanna shuts her eyes tightly, sighing hard.
I bet she wasn’t expecting for me to answer with such direct honesty but I made a promise to myself. No more lies between us and I plan to keep my word. Besides if we’re going to do this we may as well to do it damn right. I want her trusting me completely and for that I need to be as sincere as I can with her.
“I’m scared.” She breathes.
“Me too, baby.” It’s my answer. Hanna’s eyes snap open and she looks at me slightly disconcerted until I elaborate. “I’m scared of losing you forever, Hanna.” Her expression softens as she disentangles one of her hands, stroking my cheek.
“You’re not gonna lose me, Dominic and I’m not going anywhere far from you, remember?” She whispers, smiling a little and I feel my heart speeding the rhythm of its beats when her smile almost reaches her eyes.
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved in all my fucking life, Hanna.” I say, holding her gaze, meaning each and every single word that passed my lips. In seconds, her eyes are brimming with unshed tears as she swallows forcefully. “And if I’d die tonight, I’d die being the happiest fucker around the world because I know you love me as much as I do love you, baby.” I add fiercely, putting all my heart and my soul, making sure she has no trace of doubt about my feelings.
And it’s true. I swear to God Hanna is the only woman who I will be able to love for the rest of my life and I’m fucking grateful because Fate put a woman like Hanna on my path. I know I’ve been acting like a moron, not wanting to face my own fears, but not anymore.
“Dominic…” She whispers through trembling lips as a wave of fresh tears roll down her cheeks. Hanna closes her eyes for a second, swallowing hard. “I love you with all I am.” She says breathlessly, turning around in my arms, encircling my neck, pulling me tightly against her. I shut my eyes in a lame attempt to stop the tears that are threatening to roll free. No such luck, now it’s too late and they are silently falling down.
I press her against my chest even more, holding her and Hanna buries her face in my neck, crying. I don’t know how much time we’re going to be like this, embracing each other but I don’t care. I’m not in a hurry. I don’t want to let her go. Now that she’s in my arms, I want to stay like this forever.
As her sobs slow down a little, Hanna takes a ragged breath and tilting her head back she meets my gaze. “It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?” she asks me, her voice shaking with fear.
“A lot, baby.” I reply, nuzzling her cheek. Hanna’s breath caught in her throat, shuddering. I sniff lightly as my hands come up, stroking her hair. “We did it once together and we will do it again, baby…I’m gonna heal you, beautiful, and you’re gonna leave behind the fear and the pain. No one will hurt you again. I give you my word, Hanna.” My voice sounds firm, not leaving room for hesitation or doubts, and my own determination scares me a little.
Hanna shivers one more time and holding my gaze, she asks me. “What do you want me to do?” Her voice sounds still tinted with fear but behind it I notice her determination.
“How about you let me see you?” I reply as my eyes flicker to hers.
Hanna takes a ragged breath, shuddering uncontrollably as I let go of her, moving backward a step. She hesitates for a couple of seconds but slowly, she removes the bathrobe, exposing her naked body to me, shutting her eyes tightly.
“Don’t close your eyes, Hanna. Look at me, baby” I whisper softly, waiting for her to do as I said. Hanna shivers again but she obliges after a moment.
“I feel nauseated every time I look at myself in a mirror…I’m disgusting.”
Hanna’s words, spoken in a broken voice echo inside my brain causing my heart to clench painfully and my legs seem to give away any second now, making me drop to my knees. I knew it was going to hurt, a lot. But damn! The pain is almost unbearable. It’s much more than I figured.
I grit my teeth as my gaze travels down her skin, taking in those burns, fading bruises and scars, stopping for a couple of seconds on each and every single mark that is marring Hanna’s body, memorizing them. I don’t want to forget what that fucking son of bitch Snake did to her. I want to remember each and every single sick act that motherfucker carried out on Hanna because I need to remind myself I almost lost her this time.
I’m going to turn all my pain into hope and all my rage into determination and I’m going to keep going ahead until this fucking nightmare ends. Each one of those marks is going to give me the strength to survive this new living hell Hanna and I are going through. I swear to God I’m not gonna backing up an inch and I’m gonna make sure I’m the first one learning the lesson well. Nobody will hurt Hanna again, not even me.
Hanna’s gaze is following mine along and over my painful journey as fresh tears start to fall unrestrained.
“I’m disgusting…” Hanna whispers through clenched teeth. I snap my head up, locking eyes with her. I swallow hard against that familiar knot back down my throat as I speak, ignoring her words for now.
“Turn around, baby.” I whisper gently but firm, not leaving room for her to complain. In response a loud whimper passes her lips and shivering violently, she obliges.
“Dominic…please…” her voice a throaty sound halfway between a ragged breath and a shaky sob, escaping her trembling lips. “It hurts…” she whispers, fighting to keep her eyes open.
“I know it, Hanna.” I reply as I force myself to keep breathing, forcing the air to pass through my lungs. “I need to see all those marks and you need me to do it, baby.”
Clamping my jaw tightly my gaze resumes its tearing journey all over Hanna’s scarred skin. The vision hurts like a fucking bitch but I’m not running away this time. I don’t want to let her out of my life and I won’t. I refuse to lose the only woman I have ever loved just because she’s not perfect.
What the fuck is the definition of perfection anyway? Hanna is perfect because she’s the sum of imperfections. Hanna is real, unique and precious because she’s all those things to me. And that’s the thing. Who the fuck wants a perfect woman? Hanna is perfect because she’s everything I want and everything I need. To hell with whoever doesn’t share my opinion. Not that I give a fuck though.
At some point I’m mesmerized by the vision in front of my eyes. I’ve been lost in her curves, following them, not even noticing the marks anymore.
“Damn! You’re beautiful, Hanna.” I absently whisper, bewitched by Hanna’s body, startling her with the unexpected sound of my voice.
“What?” She whispers breathlessly, lifting one hand, cleaning her tears.
Not even those scars can hide the beauty lying under that pale skin. Damn, she’s beautiful. “Take a look at you, baby. You’re fucking beautiful.” I repeat, moving forward, standing behind her once more.
In response, she opens her eyes completely, her brows arching at once. “Even with the scars?” her voice shakes when Hanna’s eyes flicker to mine.
“Because of them, Hanna. Those scars prove how strong you are, baby. How brave. I’m proud of you, Hanna.” I reply fiercely, holding her shy gaze. “You went through hell and back for me, to save me and you survived.” Hanna closes her eyes, causing some tears to fall, sighing hard. “Mark my words, Hanna. I love them as much as I love you because they remind me how close I’ve been to losing you, baby. And I’m not going there again. Hanna.”
“Help me, Dominic; please…make him go away, baby.” Hanna whispers, forcing her voice out, making it sounds hoarser than before. I tilt her head to one side gently, pulling away her hair, exposing the delicate skin of her nape.
“I’m gonna do much more than that, Hanna.” I reply as my fingers brush the back of her neck.
Hanna holds her breath, waiting, anticipating the soft caress of my lips. A small grin tugs the corner of my mouth as I lock eyes with her through the reflection in the mirror. Not yet, Hanna, baby.
Instead I do something I haven’t done in what feels like centuries. Deliberately slow I scrap my chin along the side of her neck from earlobe to nape and back to her earlobe. Just as I expected Hanna gasps loudly, taking a shaky breath as her hands grip the edge of the counter. Her Adam’s apple moves up and down fast as she swallows hard, shivering.
Gently but without hesitation as if I’m learning the landscape of her skin once more, the tip of my fingers brush over her neck, drawing an invisible line down her shoulders and then up to her neck again, tracing the shape and form of her collarbone.
Her soft hair stands up all at once causing goose bumps as I nuzzle her ear, my parted lips brushing the outline, descending upon her skin. Never letting go of her eyes, my tongue follows the path my chin chose, sliding a wet wavy line across her nape.
“Do you remember my birthday party?” I ask her, nuzzling her neck. Hanna shivers violently as she nods ‘yes’. “Do you remember what I did at that dark corner inside the club?” I whisper, lowering the tone of my voice. Again Hanna nods ‘yes’, leaning her head toward my lips. “Do you want me to do it again?”
Her eyes snap open, widening as she looks at me. “Would you do that?” she asks me hoarsely.
“Would you let me?” I reply, holding her gaze. Hanna takes a shaky breath, swallowing hard and after several seconds she slowly nods ‘yes’. My lips spread in a small grin as I encircle her waist, pulling her to me. “Don’t close your eyes, Hanna.” I whisper as my other arm encircles her shoulders, pressing her back to my chest.
“Okay.” Hanna blinks as she breathes deeply, locking eyes with me.
My grin widens a little more and I put my full lips against her ear, brushing the shell of it as my tongue darts out, tracing the outline.
“I love you, baby.” I whisper.
A sharp intake of breath followed by a soft sigh is my first reward. Yeah. You’re not even close to figuring out where I’m gonna take you, Hanna.
My lips brush the sensitive skin below her earlobe as I lean slightly against the counter, pulling Hanna with me. “You’re so fucking sexy, so hot.” I whisper softly, blowing warm air against her neck. She tenses, shivering. “Relax, Hanna, I’m not gonna hurt you, baby.”
“Dominic…” she whispers, her eyes fluttering close.
“I’m gonna do what I did that amazing night at the club, beautiful.” Hanna’s soft hair rises at once as she swallows hard, her cheeks blushing. “Just like that night, baby.” I keep whispering, my nose buried in her hair. “I’m gonna make you cum, Hanna.” I state as a matter of fact, nibbling her earlobe, sucking softly. Hanna whimpers quietly as her hands come up, stroking my forearm. “Wanna make our fantasy true?” I growl gently, nuzzling her ear; my voice lower than usual.
“Yeah…” her voice is a breathless whisper.
“Wanna dress for me, tonight?” I growl softly as my lips brush the skin below her earlobe down the spot where the neck meets the shoulder. “Wanna wear that sexy white dress for me?” I grin as her eyes snap open, a light frown on her forehead.
“The one with the…the red f-flowers?” Hanna stutters, her gaze on mine.
“Oh, yeah…love that dress…” I breathe deeply, grinning against her skin. “You look sexy as hell in that one, beautiful, wanna wear it for me, Hanna?” I ask as my lips brush her bare skin. In response, Hanna nods ‘yes’ as a small smile spread on her lips. “Mmmm…love the way that dress clutches that killer ass of yours, sexy.” I rumble, nipping her nape. Hanna’s head tilts to one side, giving me more room.
“Do…do I look sexy in it?” She asks shyly as her hand traces an absent line on my arm up my shoulder.
“Oh, yeah…Can’t take my eyes off you, Hanna, baby. You look damn sexy in it, beautiful.” I reply, inhaling deeply through my nose, feeling Hanna’s hand stroking my arm, up and down, her body relaxing a little.
“Do you want me to wear my white panties?” she asks, following my lead on this wicked game of ours. I laugh softly.
“Hell, yes!” My grin widens as Hanna’s eyes sparkle for a second with something that wasn’t there before. That’s it, baby. You’re doing great, Hanna. “Those white cotton panties are gonna mean my death one of these days.” I tease her making Hanna giggle. “Wanna match it with a sexy bra?” I ask, winking at her.
“The one with the front opening.” That bright mischievous gleam flashes at me for a second, making my heart speed its rhythm. Damn! I almost had forgotten about that bra.
“Fucking yes!” It’s my answer as I wink at her. “Are you wearing high heels?” Hanna narrows her eyes slightly, that mischievous gaze sparkling again in her beautiful eyes.
“Red strappy sandals.” She answers, grinning wickedly.
“Damn! You’re killing me here, woman…” I tease her, making her laugh, shaking her head.
It’s not the first time we played this little game but it felt like forever. I forgot how damn funny it was. Hanna is relaxing more and more with every second that passes.
“What are you wearing?” Hanna asks me, arching a brow. I mimic her gesture, narrowing my eyes.
“What do you want me to wear, beautiful?” I ask nonchalant, smiling wickedly.
“Black jeans and black sleeveless tee-shirt.” Hanna states, grinning and she takes a deep breath, relaxing a little more.
“You like black, huh?” I ask in suspicion, my wicked grin still in place. Hanna leans back against my shoulder, mirroring my grin.
“Love black, Dominic.” She replies, winking seductively. Damn, that wink feels like a mouthful of fresh air.
“Black it is then.” I state, laughing softly. “Gonna do everything you want, baby.” I whisper, burying my face in her neck, kissing her soundly.
“Everything?” Hanna answers, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
“Damn right, Hanna. As long as it makes you happy, I’m doing it.” I say, meaning each word. In response, Hanna’s mischievous gaze flashes me one again and this time doesn’t vanish in a second. Uh-oh.
“Wanna wear those silky black boxers?” Her voice sounds playful as she giggles. Damn right, I’m wearing them, Hanna.
“Shit! Do I have to?” I groan, pretending to be upset but doing my best to not start bouncing up and down.
“Please?” Hanna pouts but her beautiful eyes are smiling. Damn! I would stand in the middle of LA wearing only those boxers if I can see those green eyes smiling like that.
“Bring those black boxers over here, baby. Gonna wear them just for you. Everything for my woman.” I say, laughing hard. Hanna laughs with me and the sound is like music to my ears. Damn! I love her more than air to breath.
I remove one of my arms, encircling her waist, interlacing my fingers, pulling her to me. Hanna shivers when her naked body presses to me and tenses unconsciously even though I’m fully dressed.
“Okay, baby, now that we are ready to have fun.” I whisper as I bend my head again, kissing her shoulder, brushing the skin. “Wanna dance with me?” Hanna sighs softly, nodding.
“Great, love the way your hips swing in the rhythm of the music.” I say as I start moving my hips, swinging with her embraced in my arms. Hanna takes a deep breath and closing her eyes, she starts following my rhythm. “That’s right, baby. Dance with me.” I whisper, nibbling her earlobe as my hips keep moving.
Fuck! I have to control myself. This is not for me is for her. But she feels so fucking good, pressed against me. Hanna takes a sharp breath as her eyes snap open, tensing as soon as my dick brushes against her lower back. Shit, shit, shit. My own body is betraying me and my damn dick is stirring, demanding attention. Son of a bitch.
I don’t want her panicking right now or this won’t work. This is a game we’re going to play but we’re going to play it until its ended. Even if she starts to panic, I’m not backing up. Hanna has to trust me without reservations or doubts and I need to know she trusts me in this.
“Dominic…” her voice sounds tinted with fear as she shivers violently.
“Relax, Hanna, it’s me, it’s Dominic.” I whisper as my lips brush the spot right behind her ear. “I’m not gonna hurt you, baby, but you have to trust me, Hanna.” I say firmly as I plant gentle butterflies’ kisses along her neck and shoulders, feeling her pulse speeding its rhythm under my lips.
Hanna swallows hard, clearing her throat. “I do, I trust you, Dominic but…” she shuts her eyes tightly, shaking her head. I know this is damn hard for her and maybe I should call a halt right now.
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask seriously.
“No!” Hanna exclaims, snapping her eyes open. “No, Dominic, please don’t stop now, baby.” She whispers, blushing. “It’s just…just…give a minute.”
“Hanna, we’re not in a hurry, baby. We have all the time in the world.” I say, nuzzling her shoulder. “Tell me what you want me to do, beautiful.” Hanna meets my gaze through the reflection in the mirror, swallowing hard. “Come on, baby, trust me. Tell me what you want, Hanna.” I press her as I remove my arms, resting my hands on her hips, absently drawing small circles upon the skin.
Hanna bites her lower lip nervously as she frowns deeply. I suspect she’s once again struggling with herself, but I can’t help her in that task. Hanna needs to make up her mind on her own; she has to be the one who wants to heal in the first place. After a long moment, she clears her throat, swallowing again.
“I want you, Dominic.” She whispers, shivering a little.
Damn! Those words make my heart jump inside my chest, racing like a wild horse and my damn dick hardens. I take a deep breath, swallowing hard as I force myself to stay still, reminding myself this is for her and her alone.
“You got me, sweetheart. I’m all yours, Hanna, I’ve always been yours.” I reply, putting everything in those words because it’s how I feel about her. Hanna is the only woman who never demanded anything from me and that’s the reason why she’s going to have everything. “I belong to you, Hanna.” I add because I want her being completely sure that she’s the only woman ever who will hear those words from me.
Hanna gasps loudly, looking at me directly. Those eyes I would die for without a second thought know exactly what my words mean for both of us right now more than ever. We don’t know what Fate has in store for us, but we’re facing it together, as one.
Slowly, Hanna turns around and encircling my neck, she pulls my head down until our foreheads are pressed together, our lips a breath away.
“I love you, Dominic.” Hanna whispers, brushing my lips with hers. I encircle her waist, pressing her to me as I take a deep breath.
“I love you, Hanna.” I reply, nuzzling her cheek. Hanna’s breath seems to falter for a second and then she closes the distance between our lips.
Damn! Her lips are as soft as velvet as she brushes them against my lips. Shyly at first, her tongue traces the line of my bottom lip, nibbling deliciously upon it as she increases the pressure, reclaiming a territory that has been always for her and her alone. I lift my hand, burying it in her hair and pulling her even closer to me I slid my tongue, caressing hers, sucking it gently.
Hanna moans between my lips as I open her mouth, sliding my tongue, exploring, tasting, and learning once more. A soft growl escapes my lips as her tongue slides past mine, mimicking each and every single one of my previous moves.
Time stops around us as we lose ourselves in the sensations that are wrapping us up so fast I feel my brain spinning. We aren’t kissing each other; we’re making love with each other. Our mouths seem to have a life on their own, our lips, nibbling, sucking; our tongues tasting, feeling.
When we part lips; we are both panting hard, our heart racing like wild horses.
“Wanna make one of my fantasies come true?” Hanna whispers breathlessly. I bend my head, making our foreheads press together.
“Anything you want, Hanna.” I reply, my thumbs tracing slow patterns over her cheeks.
“Show me how much you love me, Dominic.” Hanna breathes, swallowing hard. “Tell me how you are gonna make love to me, baby.” She shivers, as her eyes flicker to mine. They are brimming with unshed tears. “Make love to me, baby. I want to feel alive again, Dominic.” Her voice is a husky whisper that sounds full of fear yet tinted with such desire I feel my heart stopping dead inside my chest just to start racing wildly. “Make me feel again, Dominic.”
That’s my woman! Damn! Here we go, Hanna, baby, I hope you don’t panic because it’s gonna be a hell of a ride for both of us.
“Do you want me to show you how much I love you, Hanna?” I ask, holding her teary gaze. Hanna nods ‘yes’ as she takes a ragged breath. “Then come here, baby, let me take that dress off you, baby.” I tease her, following our previous fantasy. Hanna laughs as a sob escapes her trembling lips. I grin, winking at her. “Wanna see that sexy body of yours.” I whisper, cleaning the trails of unnoticed tears. Hanna sucks her lower lip, swallowing.
“Do you want me to undress for you, Dominic?” she asks, blushing as she softly bites the right corner of her bottom lip. I smile widely.
“No way, baby, gonna undress you myself. I want to feel your skin under my hands when I slide down your dress.” I answer, lowering consciously one more time the tone of my voice.
“Tell me what you are going to do now that I’m only wearing my underwear, Dominic.” That mischievous gaze returning at her eyes, a wicked grin tugging the corner of her lips.
“I’m gonna slip my hands slowly over your shoulders down to your rounded breasts, teasing your nipples through the fabric of that sexy bra until they turn into hard peaks, baby.” I whisper, putting my full lips against her ear. Hanna gasps loudly, shivering as she grabs the fabric of my shirt in her hands. “And then I’m gonna lean forward a bit, brushing your neck, tracing the contour of your collarbone, kissing your shoulders then up to your neck.” My voice sounds like a low rumble.
Hanna closes her hands in fists as she presses her naked body to me. I grin against her ear as I gently suck her earlobe. Hanna moans softly, shifting her weight from one foot to another.
“Yeah, beautiful. Can you feel my hands cupping your perfect breast, Hanna?” I ask her, blowing warm air against her neck. “Do you feel your pink nipples hardening while I play with them between my fingers?” My tongue traces one more time the shell of her ear, sucking hard.
“Oh, God…” Hanna moans as her nipples harden, pressed against my chest.
“I love your sexy body, woman. You drive me crazy, baby.” I whisper, nibbling her neck. “You’re fucking beautiful, Hanna.” I breathe, tracing invisible lines upon and over her neck with my tongue.
“Are you gonna touch my body?” Hanna asks, burying her face in my neck. I can feel her cheeks burning so she must be blushing like ten shades of red.
“I’m gonna touch every single inch of your velvet skin, woman.” I reply as I lean against the counter. “Now I’m gonna slide down my hands, stroking your belly until my thumbs grab the hem of your panties to take them off. I want to feel those soft wet curls between my fingers.” I add, spreading gently her legs with my thigh as I keep sucking and licking her ear.
“Dominic…you’re making me wet.” A soft whimper escapes her parted lips as she brushes them against my neck.
“You’re making me hard, Hanna, baby.” I say, feeling her warm breath against my skin. “God, Hanna, you feel so good, baby, so fucking good.” My dick hardens even more inside my jeans. Damn! I love this fantasy of her. “Can you feel my fingers touching you, baby?” I ask Hanna, noticing how she’s rubbing herself against my thigh. I close my eyes for a second, taking a shaky breath as I flex my thigh, causing the muscle to tense.
“Dominic…” Hanna shivers as soon as she feels my thigh nudging her wet sex.
“I’m here, Hanna. I’m right here with you.” I reply, sliding one of my hands down her hip, resting it gently upon her skin. “You’re so wet, so hot, woman, I gotta taste you, baby…” I say as my other hand buries in her hair, grabbing a fistful. “Can I taste you, Hanna?” My hand resting upon her hip is tracing lazy circles on her skin in time with my tongue on her neck and shoulder.
“Oh my God…” Hanna breathes, moaning aloud as she keeps rubbing herself against my thigh.
Damn, I feel her warm sex through the fabric of my jeans as my heart speeds even more the rhythm of its beats.
“I’m gonna caress your inner thighs with my tongue, using my lips to kiss your mound, taking my time, running my tongue along and over it, making sure I’m not leaving any spot out.” I whisper as my hips start moving in time with her hips.
Hanna’s breath turns erratic as her hips start moving in little circles, up and down over my thigh. Hanna is so wet and so hot she’s making me unbelievably hard. And for a second the crazy idea of taking her right here right now crosses my mind and I let out a loud groan.
I’m not gonna do that shit. No matter how painful my hard on feels or how loud my dick is screaming for release. This is for Hanna; this is for her. Hanna’s pleasure is the goal here.
“I’m gonna use the tip of my tongue in a swirling motion over your clit as I grab your legs, pulling them towards my shoulders. Then I’m gonna suck and lick simultaneously as I growl on your sex, licking your name, one letter at a time smoothly and rhythmically, drawing your inner labia into my mouth.”
Hanna’s skin is covered in a thin veil of sweat, revealing the beauty of her body, moving in time with my words.
“Damn, Hanna, you’re hot and wet and tight, baby. You taste like honey, so damn sweet.”
She’s all sensations now, no trace of fear. Hanna is riding her merry way to an explosive orgasm and I’m with her all the way in.
“I’m gonna suck gently on your wet pussy driving you crazy. And while I’m caressing your wet pussy going in slow circles, up and down, flicking back and forth lightly with my tongue and my lips, the tip of my nose is gonna be rubbing your clit.” I whisper in a husky voice as I mimic the moves I’m describing, sucking, nibbling and licking her ear.
“Oh God, yes!” Hanna exclaims, speeding her movement. I grin widely, feeling her breath coming out in short gasps of pleasure. Oh, yeah, Hanna, you’re almost there, baby.
“While in this position I gonna insert two finger into your wet hot pussy along the upper wall, way back past the G spot, in search of…” Hanna cuts me, whispering breathlessly.
“The OMG spot…” I laugh softly, hearing her words. Damn! I’m gonna cum any minute.
“Damn right, baby, and I’m gonna tickle this spot while I nurse on your clit.” Hanna moves her hips until she’s rubbing herself against my hard dick.
“Fuck!” I growl, feeling the stirring of my own orgasm, building through the base of my spine; my nerves burning.
“Oh, My God…” Hanna breathes, hissing in pleasure. “Dominic!” I feel her body tensing as she encircles my neck, our foreheads press together. “I’m gonna cum, baby.” She whispers, swallowing hard. I grab her hips, moving her in time with me.
“Cum for me, Hanna, you’re almost there, baby.” I whisper, grabbing her bottom, pressing her hot pussy against my dick. “Come on, beautiful, Cum for me, Hanna, baby.” Her hips are moving in frantic motion as her face contorts. “That’s it, Hanna, let it go, baby. I got you, you’re safe with me. Let it go, Hanna. Let me feel you cum.” I whisper through clenched teeth. I’m forcing my own release back as I keep rubbing myself against her.
“Cum with me, Dominic.” Hanna hisses in pleasure as her hands slid down my back, grabbing my bottom, pressing me against her. Fuck it!
Hanna’s spine tenses completely as she reaches her climax, screaming my name. Two second later and my own orgasm hit me with such force that for a second I think I’m gonna die here.
“Fuck, Hanna!” I cry out, lifting her hips, thrusting hard against her wet sex as she shivers violently, spasming uncontrolled.
“I love you, Dominic.” Her voice is a weak whisper as she encircles my neck, resting her cheek against my cheek. I take a ragged breath, forcing the air through my lungs. Damn, Hanna made me cum just watching her cumming. Holy shit!!
“I love you, Hanna.” I whisper, stroking her back up and down as Hanna starts to cry silently, her face resting on my shoulder.
“Thank you, baby.” She whispers between sobs. Her voice sounds shaky as she keeps crying. I close my eyes, holding her tightly against me.
“My pleasure, beautiful.” I reply as a wide grin spread on my lips.
Damn, we’re going to repeat this game again as soon as we have a little time for ourselves. That’s for damn sure. Only thing next time is I’m gonna do what I’m describing. I figured out this was going to be fun, but damn! What a ride!
“Hanna… how about I give you a massage?” I tease her. In response, Hanna snorts softly, shaking. I tilt my head back, looking at her just to find her laughing silently, dry tears staining her cheeks.
“How about a bubble bath?” She asks me as her lips spread in a wicked grin. I knit a brow, looking at her eyes. Damn they are sparkling with that mischievous gaze again.
“As long as that massage follows the bubble bath.” I reply, winking at her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that chocolate massage oil, you know?” I grin wickedly. Hanna laughs out loud, making me laugh with her. Damn. I love her laughter. She’s so damn beautiful when she smiles widely.
“Deal.” She says, giggling. Then she goes serious in a heartbeat, glancing down between us. “I ruined your jeans, Dominic.” She whispers, frowning slightly. I follow her gaze, chuckling.
Between her cum and mine the jeans are in fact a mess, but who gives a fuck about them. It has been worthy every damn second and more. Definitively we’re playing this game again.
“Fuck the jeans.” I retort, winking at her. “Who fucking cares?” And with that I bend my head, capturing Hanna’s lips in a searing kiss.