I like just driving.
We’re not in the city anymore and I can feel that coming off me. I’m always careful but there’s something about being in the country that makes it easy to not be so careful all the time.
I remember when me and Matty, the rest of the guys, we were just kids fucking around. It was summer break, I can’t remember the year, it all sort of blurred together but after school got out we went on a fucking camping trip if you can believe that. Tents and everything.
Chris fucking hated it, hated having to shit in the woods. ‘Like an animal’ he’d yell, every fucking morning we were out there.
Marbles was into his granola-eating shit, some sort of a hippie thing. Don’t know where the fuck he got that that year, but camping suited him.
But it was Matty that really loved it. We’d all make a fire in some fucking half oil drum somebody’d left out there buried in the dirt. Sometimes he’d talk but mostly he’d just be quiet, looking up at all the fucking stars.
I never did that shit when I was a kid, thought it was for pussies but I can’t remember ever once telling Matty he was a pussy for it. For other shit yeah, I’d bust his balls, but not for that. Maybe I did, I don’t know but I really don’t think I did. Matty knew cool shit that nobody else knew or that would talk about. Definitely wouldn’t talk to me about. Never knew anybody else that’d just talk about shit like that.
I do that every once in a while now, just look at the fucking stars. Like last night when I planted that guy.
Hard to see stars in the middle of the city. Some of the big ones I guess but it’s not the same. The only one I could name would be Orion. I know that’s more than one but it’s the only one I know, the only one I can remember him showing me. Matty pointed it out that year when we was camping. Explained how to tell direction by it but I’ve forgotten how.
It’s dark enough out here that I can see it clearly, the three stars in the middle pointing up over the trees.
Dark and I’m fucking beat. Never did get a lot of sleep last night and I don’t exactly have company to keep me awake.
In the back, the kid’s asleep curled up close against his mother. Rita’s not really sleeping. She dozes off and then jolts awake like the shit in her dreams won’t let her go under. Fucking hate nightmares.
I can’t drive straight to Vegas on no sleep, no fucking way. Won’t risk sleeping in the van either and getting rousted by the cops with a woman and kid in the back. Too many fucking questions.
Up on the left there’s a sign for a shitty little motel. Looks about right. Cheap. Not that I give a shit about money but cheap means I don’t have to explain nothing to nobody. I can pay in cash, drop a fake name, no questions asked, no records kept.
It’s not on the map but I’m past giving a shit. There’s another call in spot tomorrow not far from here and Teddy doesn’t give a shit where or even if I sleep so long as I’m there when he makes the call. Guess that’s why he didn’t plan that out. Probably figured we’d sleep in the van somewhere on the side of the road.
A wave to the old guy at the front desk and I’m driving through an empty lot and parking at the very end. Take care of Rita and the kid and then head back to the office, renting the last room on the end, a double.
I got to check the room before I let them out of the van. Make sure there’s no other way out, no back doors or windows. Make sure we’re not going to run into a maid or something. Check what I have in there to keep the broad restrained or if I have to bring something with me from the van.
Better to check that shit now so I can get her and the kid into the room with as little trouble as possible. I hate surprises, always did, so I make sure I don’t have any.
Classic shitty little motel room. A cement box with a bathroom. Two beds, night table in between. Small TV bolted to a metal stand at the end of the room with a big card advertising porn. I turn that face down on the stand. Kid don’t need to see that shit.
The bathroom’s cold and small with one window. It’s nailed shut and barred. Guess they don’t give much of a shit about fire codes. No way out there.
There’s an old style radiator on the far wall and I push one of the beds up against it. I’ll take the other one, close to the window and door.
I don’t sleep so good anymore so even if Rita gets loose she’s not going to get past me. Where would she go anyway? It’s the middle of fucking nowhere. I think she’d try for it if she could. Hard to run with a kid at this time of night though.
Out in the van I gotta be quick. Get them into the room with as little fuss as possible. I got a couple of ways of doing that. I could hurt her or I could threaten her. I don’t much like either but the second option’s easier.
I got her by the arm and I know how threatening I can be. It’s how I’ve made my living for as long as I can remember. So I know she’s scared shitless.
The kid keeps asking ‘mom, mom, mom’, but I shut him out. It isn’t going to do any good to think about it.
“It’s like this. We’re gonna move and you’re gonna be quiet. If you even think about you’re gonna cause me trouble-”
Without a word she’s pleading with me at this point, her eyes between me and the kid.
I fucking hate this but I gotta go with the thing that scares the shit out of her the most if I want her to go along quietly.
“If you cause me any trouble, we leave. I drive to the next call in. When I get there I tell them to come pick up you and the kid. Maybe they take you and maybe they don’t. Maybe they just take the kid. But I kinda get the feeling it’s the kid they really want.”
Terrified. Fuck me, did I say how much I fucking hate this? Why the fuck can’t she be a guy? One quick punch and a warning to shut the fuck up or he gets hit again. Some guys would do that to her anyway. I’m not one of those guys. She don’t know that though.
She’s never begged for a fucking thing, not once since this began. She’s fought and swore, even attacked me, but she’s never begged. She’s begging now.
Not exactly the first time I’ve heard that either. Everybody fucking begs, don’t matter how big they are, they all fucking beg, so why does this get to me? Is it that she’s a broad? Is it the kid? I don’t even want to know and I don’t have the time to deal with it now. Don’t have the luxury of showing weakness. Compassion.
“Lady, let’s just make this quick. We all get a night’s sleep and everything looks better in the morning.”
After the threat, the promise. It’s the way it goes. Nothing sounds so good as a possible way out when you thought you were dead and Rita takes it, clinging to the slim hope.
“Hold his hand. We’re moving quick and remember, no problems.”
There’s an ‘or else’ at the end of that that I know she hears. Her heart’s pounding so hard I can feel her pulse in her hand as I grip it, pulling her and the kid out of the van. The strap is tucked out of sight in the cuff of my jacket. Not that anyone is looking anyway but it gives me a bit of control over her.
Kid’s still whispering for his mom, fucking scared, but Rita isn’t saying shit. She’s scared too, for different reasons.
I’m a bastard, but so far I’m a bastard that hasn’t hurt her yet. I’m a known. If I leave her with someone else there’s no saying how bad it could be. Probably worse.
We’re inside without incident in no time and she looks over her shoulder once at the open door, her eyes closing. A chance lost. Even if it’s a bad chance. Can’t blame her for wanting a way out.
Now she’s looking around for a new way out. Her whole body tightens as I push her over to the bed and she’s begging again, the kid pulled behind her, away from me.
“Please! Please, I’ll do whatever you want, just…just not in front of Matty? please?”
The pleading isn’t just in her words. It’s in the sound of her voice and her eyes, her whole face. If I wasn’t holding her up I think she’d drop to her knees.
Also not the first time that’s happened but it’s different with a woman. Cus she doesn’t think I’m gonna beat the shit out of her. Or doesn’t think that’s all I’ll do. She thinks I’m gonna rape her, in front of her kid no less.
When the back of her knees hit the bed her expression changed a little, like a trapped rat. All her muscles tense so tight I can see them pop on the surface of her skin.
It’s all she says, her head dropping a little as she bares her teeth at me. She’s gonna fight again. With a guy, having him scared makes my job easier. With a broad it’s a whole other ballgame. The rules are all out the fucking window and there’s no telling what a woman’ll be capable of.
I’ve seen women do some pretty fucked up things when they have no other choice. They don’t feel pain, like they don’t even know how hurt they are till after. I gotta take this down again quick.
“Lady, I’m no rapist. I’m not going to touch you, you got it? But I’d kind of like to get some decent sleep and I don’t need to be worrying about whatever the fuck you’re up to.”
I’m holding the strap up again, closing in on her. The kid’s already up on the bed, pushed there by Rita.
“I’m no rapist. You have my word.” I’m repeating, talking soft and shit, trying to convince her.
At that, the ghost of steel is back. Fuck, that woman has a hell of a temper on her. Must kill her to have to hold her tongue. She’s looking at me, trying hard to see if she can believe me. Deep black circles under her eyes. Strung out, she hasn’t slept either. Whatever she got in the van was just exhaustion and fear.
“Just sleep. I’m not interested in hurting you.”
Most of the time I know how to get what I want from a woman. Of course, most of the time they want the same thing so there isn’t much convincing needed. She’s not interested but the mechanics are the same.
She’s swallowing and fighting tears. Who the fuck knows what she’s had to face before today but she’s near the point of having enough.
“Back up. Easy.”
Pushes the kid behind her as she goes, stays facing me like she hasn’t given up the idea of fighting yet.
Quickly, I strap her wrists to the radiator. Her and then the kid, testing and making sure it’ll hold but that they can still lie down and get some sleep. Back up off the bed, my hands up to show her I’d keep my word.
They’re both backed up in the corner watching me carefully. Matty’s crying again, not making a sound. Just curled up against his mother’s side, crying. She’s almost crying but fighting it. Fuck.
Take the corner of the blanket and cover them both up to the waist with it. Back away again.
Fuck me, as if I wasn’t fucking exhausted already.
“Gonna see what’s on. You might want him to close his eyes at first, in case it’s shit he shouldn’t see.”
I fucking hope they got something other than x-rated shit. I lean back on the lumpy bed and try not to look at them, flip through channels.
Most of it’s porn and I flick through that quick. Not just for the kid but the broad don’t need to see that shit either, she’s scared enough as it is. Settle on a channel with shaky reception. Figures it’s a nature show.
Copyright © January 2009 xxxevilgrinxxx