Outing [10]

::OUTING::
Chapter 10
**Present Time**
Vin’s POV

As I close the door of the house I see Gabe talking with Lorna, our neighbor. I still don’t know how old she is, anywhere from 50 to 80 is my guess. She won’t tell us, anyway. Lorna doesn’t believe in ages, she says that knowing how old a person is limits your ability to judge them on their own merits. I have to agree with her on that.

Lorna is a wonderful woman; intelligent, funny and beautiful. She has this ageless beauty that only happens with the right alignment of bones. Always dresses in pants, sweaters and sandals, and has a voice that is clear and harsh and classy all at once.

I fell in love with her five minutes after I met her. Not in a carnal way, of course, but in a platonic way. She’s not married nor has a significant someone in her life either. Lorna, being the way she is, says that as soon as she meets a guy that can match her male characters that she would jump in, head first.

Lorna is a well-known novelist; she has written more than twenty novels under the pen-name of ‘Cassandra Love’. Romance, standard capture fiction where the heroine gets kidnapped and falls in love with her captor. Most, if not all her books, have these colorful covers portraying a beautiful woman with her tits half-bursting from her tight bodice and a shirtless, muscled guy embracing her passionately. Gabe loves them.

Most ’serious’ writers consider Lorna a hack. They make fun of her books, saying that what she writes is nothing but ‘trash’, but people love her novels and she has the money to prove such a fact.

Not long ago I was considered by half the business nothing more than a two-bit actor with more muscles than brains, and almost all the movies I took part in were considered nothing but crap. I think that’s one of the reasons why Lorna and I connected from the very first minute; we have a lot in common.

“Morning, Lorna.” I smile as I approach them.

“Hi, Vin, how are you doing on this fine day?”

“Not as good as you.” I give her a slow once over along with one of my killer smiles and she laughs, blushing like a teenager. For a woman who writes erotica like nobody business she’s pretty shy too.

“Oh, you’re quite the charmer, mister. Suave.”

I laugh out loud at that. I never had problems charming my way into anyone’s pants. Flattering people was never an issue for me.

“You have no idea.” Gabe grins wickedly, glancing sideways at me and causing Lorna to giggle, elbowing him.

“So, are you nervous about tonight?” Lorna encircles Gabe’s waist, pulling him to her.

“I’m on the brink of a nervous breakdown,” Gabe whines, leaning his head on her shoulder and hugging her. “I’m terrified, Lorna.”

“Ow, my poor baby.” Lorna squeezes him in a motherly way, offering Gabe her support and then looks at me sternly. “I told you what to do to get him relaxed.” Her voice sounds harsh as she points a stiff finger at me but she’s smiling.

I chuckled. “Oh, I did what you told me-four times.”

“Vin!” Gabe protests as though embarrassed but that shit eating grin of his is spread on his lips.

Lorna winks at me, then returns her attention to Gabe. “You’ll do great, you’ll see.” She kisses his temple, lingering. “I’m sure that everybody will love your paintings.”

“You’ll be there, right?” Gabe looks at her, hopeful, and then gives her his best puppy eyes. “Please, please, Lorna, say you’ll come tonight.”

We invited her to the exhibition but Lorna doesn’t like to go out. In fact, she doesn’t even go on tour promoting her books. She has everything she needs delivered at home and only leaves her house to take long walks around the neighbourhood or to have dinner with us at home.

However, Gabe’s disarming smile is enough to get her to nod, smiling warmly at him. “Of course, sweetie. I wouldn’t miss it for all the money in this world.” She kisses his temple again and Gabe’s face brightens.

“Thank you, Lorna.” He kisses her, hugging her hard until she grunts. Then she smooches him a little and, finally, releases him.

“We’ll see you tonight.” I lean forward, kissing her cheek and Lorna smiles widely.

“Are your parents coming?”

I nod. “Yeah, we’re going to pick up them at the airport.”

“Good. Tell your mom that I’m dying to see her; we have a lot of catching up to do.”

I grin, nodding. My mom and Lorna got along great since the minute they met. In fact, my mom has all her books and squealed like a little girl when she knew that ‘Cassandra Love’ lived next door to us. “I’ll do so.”

Lorna waves at us as we get in the car and with that we’re on our way to the airport. Gabe still looks like a nervous wreck but I know that everything will be fine. After all, he went through much worse and survived. The exhibition won’t kill him even if he doesn’t believe it.

**********

**Past Time**
((Six years before))
Vin’s POV

“I should have told you,” I spoke quietly even though we were alone in my office.

“Yeah, you should have.” I couldn’t see his eyes because Gabe was looking down, but his voice was tight with pain.

“I guess my only excuse is I was afraid you wouldn’t come if you knew the truth.” I waited for a moment for a response. When I didn’t get one, I continued. “I guess everybody was right when they told me that I was making a huge mistake by throwing this party for you.”

That got me a response, just not the one I was expecting.

“You mean everybody knew but me?” Gabe groaned and met my gaze; he looked anxious. “Valentino, did Val know?”

I took a deep breath. “It was never a secret, Gabe, at least to my circle of close friends. I don’t keep things from them,” I answered cautiously.

Gabe ran his hand through his hair and stared unseeingly out of the window. “Max was right…” When he spoke again it was in a whisper and I had to strain to hear him. “I’ve been such a fool…”

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I really am. I never wanted for you to feel-”

“Were you making fun of me?” He was still facing the window but his voice came out hard and strong. “Did you think that it would be funny to see how I would react? Some sort of sick joke? Let’s see how poor Gabriel who doesn’t have a pot to piss in acts when he sees how I live?”

“Of course not! What kind of guy you think I am, man?”

Gabe snapped his head around, his eyes blazing with anger. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

To be honest, no. I didn’t want him to answer that, mostly because I already knew what he would say.

“Gabriel,” I reach out to touch his arm but he wasn’t having any of it and shrugged me off.

“Do not touch me!”

“Gabe, wait,” he hadn’t moved but I could see he was ready to bolt any second and I knew I wouldn’t see him again if he left that room. “Please, just let me explain myself.”

Gabe snorted as though I hadn’t spoken at all and got to his feet, padding towards the window.

“You have no idea how I felt the minute I showed up. I wished lightning struck me dead when I saw that monstrosity.” Shoving the curtain aside, he pointed at the mountain of ice outside. “Did you know that I even brought beer? Four packs of Coronita beer no less!” He laughed but sounded hollow and I cringed at the sound. “You can go check.

George put them in the cooler. Such a nice guy, doing his best so I didn’t feel like shit. And Valentino…working his ass off to make me feel that I belong, even saying you were just a guy with an interesting job. How you like that, eh? Just a guy with an interesting job.”

Yeah, that sounded a lot like Valentino, in fact he had said that to me many times, some sort of reminder so I didn’t forget where I came from, who I was. I wanted to say that to Gabe but he was talking so fast I couldn’t find an opening to interrupt him.

“Oh, by the way,” he spun around, facing me and went on. “You better make sure to give them some present or something, I mean to Val and George, ’cause they did such a fine job, you know? I really think that Val is a great actor; he convinced me that I should stay, that I should give you a chance. Man, that guy deserves an Oscar award.”

He didn’t sound angry more like deeply disappointed. “Gabe, just let me explain-”

“Oh, and let’s not leave out the DJs, asking me what kind of music I liked the most. Well, of course, now it makes sense why they were so interested and were so kind with me. I am the honored guest of this fucking charade and the music should suit my taste, right? Should I show up at some point? Am I expected to perform? Cause you know? I can do that. I can go out there and let you fuck me in front of your guests. That would be cool, don’t you think? Oh, wait! Maybe I should ask Karim whatever if he wants to join us. You can fuck me while I suck his cock and then-”

I had had enough.

“Would you shut the fuck up for a minute and let me say something!” I was almost shouting and Gabe’s jaw dropped in shock. “Jesus Christ, Gabe, here I am trying to apologize but you won’t let me. Fuck!” I pinched the bridge of my nose and lowered my voice. My head had started hurting. “I finally meet the love of my life and the fucker won’t even let me get three words in to explain-”

I cut myself off; I couldn’t believe I’d let that out and I snapped my head up. Gabe was looking at me as though I had grown a third eye. His eyes were wide open and his mouth was…damn! Was he grinning?

“Now what?” I said, half exasperated, half groaning. I had already made a fool of myself but slipping that piece of information so it couldn’t get much worse, right?

“You want me to speak?” Gabe said with a raise of his eyebrows. “I thought you just told me to shut up? Now you want me to say something?”

“What I said, was shut the fuck up and yes, now, I want you to say something,” I couldn’t have sounded dumber if I had rehearsed before.

“And what that would be?”

Oh God, he looked fucking sexy doing his best to look all pissed off while that small shit eating grin of his was still in place. It was so fucking distracting; I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do first. Apologize to him, kiss him, kick him or fuck him.

“Shit, I don’t remember anymore,” I groaned, rubbing my head. I felt like a total idiot.

Gabe snorted but his features softened. “You were about to apologize.”

Right. Apologize. I stood, padding to his side but I didn’t try to touch him nor invade his personal space. The look he gave me made me stop a good three feet from him anyway.

“I’ve been a total asshole and a heartless bastard.”

I waited but Gabe said nothing in return.

“Feel free to disagree,” I said finally.

“No, no, keep going, you’re pretty much voicing my exact thoughts.”

Well, it wasn’t the answer I was looking for but he was talking to me and that was something. The shit eating grin was gone but there was no anger in his gaze.

“Gabe, what I’m trying to say to you is that I’m really sorry if I upset you. I never wanted for you to feel less or to hurt you. I just wanted to do something nice for you, something that no one else would have done before. I wanted for you to feel special.”

“By throwing a party for me.” He stared at me.

I nod.

“Because you wanted for me to feel special.” He continued staring at me.

I nod again.

“Because you think I’m the love of your life.”

I winced inwardly at the edge on his voice but nodded, if slowly.

“You making fun of me?” He folded his arms across his chest, as though protecting his heart. It made my own heart lurch within my chest. I had never wanted to hurt him.

“I would never laugh at you, Gabe,” I replied firmly because I wanted for Gabe to know that I wasn’t joking. “And Valentino wasn’t playing a role. He’s not that way. You like him, a lot. George too. They even think you’re good for me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Gabe snorted, shaking his head. “I thought I was somehow special for you because you made me pancakes. What a fool, eh?”

“And you are special, Gabe.” I took a step forward but didn’t try to touch him; I wasn’t sure if he would shrug me off again. “Listen, we seem to have some sort of nice connection and I think that if you give me a chance to-”

“What about Karim?” Gabe interrupted me. “Do you have some sort of nice connection with him as well?” He inquired and couldn’t hide the hurt in his eyes.

“No.” I shook my head. “Karim and I…well, it’s complicated.”

The hurt in his eyes intensified, but was quickly replaced with a cold, blank mask that didn’t give anything away. “What about your wife…Paloma, isn’t it her name?”

I would learn that with Gabe it would always be much better to be honest or he would shut me out in a blink of an eye. I sighed.

“Paloma is not my wife or my girlfriend; she’s the mother of my daughter and yeah, we both have a special connection but not the kind you’re thinking.” I felt I should explain to Gabe the details about my relationship with Paloma, but I wasn’t sure if he would pay attention to me, not right then and there. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated…” Gabe chuckled, looking down. “I better go.”

“Gabe, please, wait.” I paused, searching for the right words to say but nothing came to my mind. “Listen, my life is complicated but-”

“So is mine.” Gabe snapped his head up, meeting my gaze. He still looked more sad than angry. “Listen, Vin, if you want me to stay then give me a good reason because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here.” He raked his hand through his hair, a gesture I would learn to recognize as frustration. “You keep saying that your life is complicated and seem to want me to understand you, but you’re not making any sense.”

“I know,” I groaned. I wasn’t making any sense and my cryptic words were only confusing him even more. “Okay, let me show you something.”

I realized that Gabe would be Paloma all over again, so if I wanted him to know the real me, then I thought that it would be wiser to stop bullshitting him and to start showing him the respect he deserved.

I padded towards a set of shelves that covered one of the walls from the floor up to the ceiling and retrieved a photo album, then gestured for Gabe to come closer. He hesitated and, sighing, he finally obliged. I guess that curiosity got the best of him. I did my best to hide the smile that spread on my lips and flipped through the pages until I found the pictures I was looking for.

“Here.” I handed him the photo album and pointed at them. “This one was taken when we went to the Sundance film festival to present ‘Strays’. And this one was taken at the premiere after party in NY. ”

“Oh, my…you all look so…”

“Young?”

Gabe grinned. “Yeah, that too.”

“Hey!” I playfully nudged him and he nudged me back.

“I was going to say so innocent. I mean, look at you…you look so full of hope in this picture, so proud of what you got, so happy…” Gabe’s voice sounded tinted with sadness and he lifted his eyes, meeting mine. “What happened to this guy, Vin?”

I sighed hard. “He became a fucking celebrity.”

***********

Gabriel’s POV

I didn’t know for sure how much time we were looking at pictures with me asking a million questions and Vin patiently answering them, sharing anecdotes and memories that, for the first time, weren’t of public knowledge.

I was surprised to find out that we liked similar music, movies and books. We had different views on other more significance matters though, like religion and politics, but they seemed to fit. Vin answered everything I asked, everything. And don’t ask me how I knew but I have no doubt that for the first time he was also being honest with me.

He didn’t beat about the bush when I once more asked about Paloma and their daughter. It melted my heart to hear him talking about Hania, his eyes were full of pride and love. He didn’t try to fool me by hiding the fact that his daughter was the most important person in his life or that she and Paloma would always come first.

Vin also talked about Elan, who was expected to be born in around ten weeks, and he didn’t hide his excitement at experiencing fatherhood for second time either.

I understood that it was a different kind of love than the one he may feel towards anyone else, including me. Not bigger or stronger, just different, and I liked that he didn’t make excuses; that he didn’t justify his love for them. Although Vin seemed pretty relieved by the fact that I was a guy and not a girl, especially after he told me about the promise he had made to Paloma.

I was still digesting everything he had told me when his thigh nudged mine, calling my attention. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking about what you said earlier.”

“I said a lot of things.”

I turned to face him and I swear he was blushing. I bet Vin was anticipating for me to bring up that thing about me being the love of his life, but I knew better. It had been some sort of slip that he clearly hadn’t meant for me to know, and as much I would have like to embarrass him for setting me up, I also thought that it would be unfair.

“This connection that we seem to have.” The deep relief he could barely hide at my words told me that I had done the right thing by consciously failing to repeat his words. “I don’t think it’s gonna vanish anytime soon, but we hardly know each other, Vin, and it’s scary.”

Vin sipped from his beer and leaned backwards, making himself comfortable on the big couch; we were still in his office. “I know.” Then his voice perked up and he grinned at me. “Is it my turn already?”

I couldn’t stop my laughter even if I’d wanted to. His eagerness was sweet and boyish at once, although I knew he was giving me an easy way out by ignoring that I had admitted that I was scared of whatever we had going on. Maybe because he was as scared as I was myself.

“Sure. Have at it.” It was only fair.

His grin was almost devilish and I almost regretted I had agreed to that sort of 20 questions game. I knew that if Vin asked me anything, I’d tell him, even if it were my most secret, dark and painful memory.

“Have you ever been in a relationship?”

I wanted to look away, but couldn’t. “No.”

“Do you think I’m a horrible person?”

That question caught me off guard but the look he gave me told me that what I thought of him was important for Vin. His eyes were warm chocolate and full of such unflinching need and desire that I couldn’t have turned my head away from them.

“Of course not.”

Vin let out the air he had seemed to be holding and smiled. “What would you like to do now?”

I looked past him and realized that a new day was breaking; we had been up all night, talking, it seemed. There was no one outside, no trace of the people that had came to the party, just that huge tent remained standing. I noticed that the entire house was silent and wondered where Val and the others had gone.

“Gabe?”

I blinked, snapping out of my thoughts. “Why don’t you show me what you did for me?”

Vin’s eyebrows shot up. “You sure? Cause you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I know,” I nodded. “But after all the trouble you went through I think it would be only fair for me to at least have a look at it.”

“Okay, come on, then.”

***********

Vin’s POV

We headed towards the huge tent in silence. There were members of Yoyo’s crew; they had started cleaning after the mess my guests had left behind.

I noticed how Gabe said ‘good morning’ several times, in fact each time he came within ear shot of any of Yoyo’s employees he repeated his greeting. I also noticed that, unlike Karim, Gabe’s greeting sounded natural and extremely polite. He even made a point of not stepping on those spots that had been already cleaned, as though he didn’t want to disturb the cleaning crew.

It reminded me of how ready Gabe had been to clean up the mess we had made at the hotel after cooking the pancakes, and how appalled he had looked when I told him to stop doing that. These simple gestures said a lot about the kind of person that Gabe was. He may not have a pot to piss in, just like he had said to me earlier, but the deep respect he showed towards others without caring who they were or what they did for a living meant much more to me. He defintely was Valentino’s kind all the way.

As I followed him, I recalled his genuine reaction at some of the pictures I had shown him. How his eyes had teared up, sparkling with tenderness when he saw the one showing Paloma breastfeeding a three month old Hania, or how his gaze filled with a mix of joy and true affection when he saw one showing me taking a nap on a swinging hammock with my daughter deeply asleep sprawled across my chest.

“Oh my God…you really went all out…” Gabe gasped.

I had been so lost in thought that I hadn’t realized that we had both entered the tent. I finally got the reaction I had been desperately seeking for though, but now I felt like shit.

He moved to stand in front of one of the painted backgrounds, staring at it with huge eyes.

“What if I hadn’t shown up?”

Honestly that thought hadn’t even entered my mind. I wasn’t going to say that shit to him anyway.

“And you did all this just for me…” Gabe kept walking, stopping at the next painting. It looked like he was talking to himself more than to me.

“It looked even better with the living sculptures,” I cautiously said as I closed the distance between us.

“There were living sculptures?” Gabe sounded excited but for some reason I didn’t feel as happy as I thought I would feel.

“Yeah, and there were people impersonating the paintings too.” I looked around, remembering how it had looked when Yoyo had asked the people she had hired to rehearse for me.

“I-I don’t know what to say, Vin.” Gabe looked pretty overwhelmed and, just as Gordon had predicted, it didn’t look in a good way.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I reached out, stroking his arm and, that time, he didn’t shrug me off. “I did it because I wanted to.”

Gabe sighed softly and turned around, facing me. “I feel like I owe you something,” he whispered, his eyes flickering to mine.

“Yeah, well, you don’t owe me shit.” I sighed hard and stepped forward as my hand moved up to stroke his hair. “Listen, I didn’t do this expecting some sort of payment in return, Gabe…I’m not gonna lie to you. I want you, badly, but-”

“You don’t want to fuck me?” Gabe gave me a confused look and I had to chuckle at his bluntness. Even though I felt a flash of heat going through my belly down my groin at the vision his words sprung in my mind, I was not going to let my cock have a say, not at that moment.

“I think I forfeit that right.” My hand came down to cup the back of his neck and my thumb rubbed softly against his throat.

In response, Gabe’s body swung forward slightly and he put his hands on either side of my hips. “Don’t you think I’m the one who should decide about that?”

I nodded. He was right, but I hadn’t been kidding Gordon when I had told him that having sex with Gabe wasn’t at the top of my ‘things to-do’ list.

“I’m not thinking very nice things though,” I whispered, noticing the flush on his throat.

Gabe grinned at me and tilted his head up a little. “No? Then we must be sharing half a brain.” He lifted his head a little more and we both reached for each other’s mouths at once. Big mistake.

The kiss was awkward, our noses got in the way, our teeth clicked harshly, and our tongues felt fat and clumsy as they dueled. Yet I almost came from the sheer joy of it.

Gabe tilted his head back, frowning, and I found myself mimicking him. Somehow we had taken for granted that this would be easier, that things would fall into place just like that.

“Don’t move.” Gabe grinned a little before he caught my mouth with his own. Lightly, almost shy, his tongue left a damp swipe on my lower lip as he sucked on it.

I took a deep breath and held it for a second before capturing his lips, mouth open and hungry, yet gentle. I nibbled, tasted and took possession.

Gabe surrendered, moaning softly and I felt his arms circling my waist, pulling me to him. My arms slid up behind him, bringing Gabe forward and up and I pull back for a second, just to grab some air before diving right back.

Gabe’s tongue teased mine, leaving my lips wet as he sucked, returning the pressure, matching my urgency.

Apparently, both of us had been dead wrong because all of sudden things look easier and might end up falling into place just like that after all.

I felt like flying and falling at all once. I swear it seemed as though there wasn’t enough air to breathe and I didn’t care. All I cared about was that Gabe was kissing me slower, deeper. It made my blood pump faster, so fast I got a head rush off it. Then Gabe inhaled deeply, as though he was trying to take me inside him to keep me there and that thought alone sent me off in a spin I wasn’t sure if I would recover from. My blood felt like rushing everywhere at once.

I heard myself groaning as Gabe’s hands smoothed along my sides, then around and down, resting on my lower back. His gentle caress was leaving a searing heat on my skin and I shuddered, releasing his lips.

“I don’t know where to take this or how, Gabe…” I was panting as though I had run a marathon.

“How about your bed…” Gabe wasn’t doing any better; he was breathing raggedly, practically forcing the air into his lungs. “First we go back to the house, padding, one foot then the other.” He sounded serious but that shit eating grin of his was back in place. However, it was the warmth in his eyes what got me for real.

I was still trying to wrap my mind around his words when Gabe’s mouth was on mine once more, hot, eager, no shyness there at all. Aggressive. Demanding.

Chest to chest I could feel his heart, beating fast. It pretty much echoed my own. His hips were pressed to mine and my body was already telling me that it wanted to have a whole lot more of Gabe than just his searing kisses.

My fingers slid into his hair, wanting nothing more than to hold onto him. For a second I was afraid I might give into our need and I found myself not giving a damn about the cleaning crew that was outside the tent; about them walking in on us, catching us with our pants down, literally.

Gabe wanted the same thing I wanted and as badly as I wanted it myself, but I didn’t want our first time to be this way. So, reluctantly, I tore my mouth away but didn’t let go of him.

We just stood there, looking at each other until we both started swaying out of pure exhaustion. I didn’t know about Gabe but I had been up for more than 24 hours in a row.

“If we stay like this much longer, we’re probably going to fall down.”
“I know,” Gabe agreed sadly. “But I don’t want to let you go.”

“And you think that’s what I want?” It was then when I noticed the dark shadows under his eyes; he looked much more than tired. “You’re totally beat, and so am I. Why don’t we just get some sleep for now, and then we can start to figure out where we go from here in the morning.”

Gabe knit a brow at me. “It’s morning, Vin.” He stated the obvious and I chuckled.

“Well, then good morning, Gabe.” And with that I pulled him to me kissing him once more.