How to become a celebrity without any talent or skills whatsoever.

Raina Kelley | Newsweek

parishiltonOnce upon a time, it took actual talent to become a celebrity in America. Whether you achieved fame in arts and letters, athletics, or politics, it was necessary to have at least some modicum of skill. But now, thanks to cable television and the Internet, there is an endless appetite for “content.”

Content is a 21st-century invention for programming that too often falls short of the label “art,” but is usually entertaining nonetheless. For instance, Mad Men and The Sopranos are television art; reality TV and game shows are content. Vanity Fair and The Atlantic Monthly are stellar examples of the art of magazine writing, while Us Weekly and OK! are cover-to-cover content.

This need for content has created an opportunity for a young, enterprising person who’s willing to do anything to be famous but has no discernible skills. The tabloids abound with superstars who are “famous for being famous,” to crib the phrase most commonly used for this phenomenon. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Nicole Richie, and Lauren Conrad are just some of the A-list names who enjoy the power and privilege of worldwide fame even though it is difficult to name a single project in which they showed an inkling of aptitude. They cannot act or sing, nor are they renowned for outrageous acts of charity, political courage, or even intelligence. They’re each adorable; but none is a great beauty on par with Halle Barry or Angelina Jolie. What each has, it seems to me, is the ability to turn their personal lives into viral video. But before you come to the conclusion that keeping the self-perpetuating fire of fame burning is, in itself, a skill, I promise you that it is not. Anybody can do it. You just have to follow the seven tried and true steps to celebrity—no skills required.
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Outing [11]

::OUTING::
Chapter 11
**Present Time**
Gabriel’s POV

“Stop doing that shit, you’re gonna give yourself a stiff neck.”

I frown at Vin but keep craning my neck in all directions at once. “Where are they? I can’t see them.” I’ve been trying to spot Vin’s parents among the people that crowd the terminal but to no avail. There’s no sign of them. “Their flight arrived almost an hour ago! What’s taking them so long?”
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Outing [10]

::OUTING::
Chapter 10
**Present Time**
Vin’s POV

As I close the door of the house I see Gabe talking with Lorna, our neighbor. I still don’t know how old she is, anywhere from 50 to 80 is my guess. She won’t tell us, anyway. Lorna doesn’t believe in ages, she says that knowing how old a person is limits your ability to judge them on their own merits. I have to agree with her on that.
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Outing [9]

::OUTING::
Chapter 9
**Present Time**
Gabriel’s POV

As usual, I’m dressed and ready to go before Vin found his underwear.

It’s a constant source of amazement to me that anybody can take as long as he does to get dressed. And it’s not like he spends an extraordinary amount of time primping in front of the mirror or anything, it’s just that he gets distracted. Continue reading

Outing [8]

::OUTING::

Chapter 8

**Present time**

Vin’s POV

“Gabe, have you seen my black, pinstriped suit?” I frown, a bit frustrated, as I keep rummaging through the hangers of clothes. Damn! I think I sent it to the dry cleaner’s and forgot to pick it up. I’m such a mess.
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Outing [7]

::OUTING::

Chapter 7

**Present Time**

Gabriel’s POV

The phone rings and Vin goes to pick it up, returning short after with the cordless. “No, it’s okay, we’ve been up for a while,” he says into the receiver, taking a seat at the table. “Sure, let me talk to her.” Continue reading

Outing [6]

**Present Time**

Vin’s POV

I don’t consider myself an excellent cook but I know my way around casseroles and pans. Unlike Gabe, who is a truly lousy cook. If left to his own, he’d probably do with frosted package of precooked food or worse, gummy bears and popcorn. Ever since I’ve known him, I’ve been ridding his ass, no pun intended, about his unhealthy eating habits until I figured out that the only way to change them was to cook the meals myself.
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