Wherein I read things, laugh, and pass them on to you…
•READ: New Cowboys and Aliens trailer shows Daniel Craig at his most brutal:

We got an early look at Wednesday’s Cowboys & Aliens trailer. We learned Daniel Craig’s alien-fighting cowboy puts James Bond to shame, Harrison Ford has never been nastier, and this really is both serious western and serious alien invasion movie…
[O]fficial description of the movie:
1873. Arizona Territory. A stranger (Craig) with no memory of his past stumbles into the hard desert town of Absolution. The only hint to his history is a mysterious shackle that encircles one wrist. What he discovers is that the people of Absolution don’t welcome strangers, and nobody makes a move on its streets unless ordered to do so by the iron-fisted Colonel Dolarhyde (Ford). It’s a town that lives in fear.
But Absolution is about to experience fear it can scarcely comprehend as the desolate city is attacked by marauders from the sky. Screaming down with breathtaking velocity and blinding lights to abduct the helpless one by one, these monsters challenge everything the residents have ever known.
Now, the stranger they rejected is their only hope for salvation. As this gunslinger slowly starts to remember who he is and where he’s been, he realizes he holds a secret that could give the town a fighting chance against the alien force. With the help of the elusive traveler Ella (Olivia Wilde), he pulls together a posse comprised of former opponents-townsfolk, Dolarhyde and his boys, outlaws and Apache warriors-all in danger of annihilation. United against a common enemy, they will prepare for an epic showdown for survival.
•READ: The Morning Read: Matthew Libatique will join Aronofsky for ‘Wolverine 2′:
Welcome to The Morning Read.
First, let me apologize for dropping Wednesday’s column. I blame Jon Favreau, and I’ll explain why on Monday. On an entirely-related note, I was at the AFI Fest closing night screening of “Black Swan” last night, and at the after-party at the Roosevelt, I ran into Matty Libatique, the cinematographer of “Black Swan,” “Iron Man,” “The Fountain,” and the upcoming “Cowboys and Aliens”. We’ve met a few times now, and he’s one of my favorite guys in the business. He’s so inventive, and so expressive, and such a key collaborator on the films he’s shot. There is one moment in “Black Swan” that I can’t describe without ruining the film for you, but it’s a combination of performance and photography and an effect and the score, and it just tears me up. Both times I’ve seen it, I hold my breath watching it.
When I realized he was standing next to me at the bar, I said hello and we talked about that shot and the film in general for a moment. We also talked about the gorgeous Western fantasy work he’s done for “Cowboys and Aliens,” and the pleasures of shooting a face as great as Harrison Ford’s. I love that he can shoot big commercial fare like “Iron Man” and “Cowboys And Aliens” and really give the films a rich, vibrant sheen that makes movie stars look legitimately superhuman, but he can also shoot films like “Black Swan” or “Requiem For A Dream,” pure emulsion emotion. As he turned to another friend in line, he confirmed that he’ll be joining Darren Aronofsky for “Wolverine 2,” so there’s one more reason for me to look forward to that movie. We spoke a little more about “Cowboys” and an early action set piece in the movie, and then parted ways. This weekend, I’ll be speaking to both Aronofsky and Natalie Portman about the film, and we’ll have those interviews for you soon.
•READ: ‘The Thing’ finds itself dateless:
Hard-core horror and monster-film fans who were awaiting the new version of “The Thing” this spring will have to wait a little longer. Or a lot longer.
Thing Universal Pictures, the monster-minded studio which is making the prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 classic, has scrapped the film’s scheduled April 29 opening and opted to leave the movie without a release date.
In its place, the studio has moved up “Fast Five,” its fifth installment in the auto-racing “Fast & Furious” franchise; the franchise goes from June 10 to the April slot. (More on other movie changes at Universal in a post we just wrote on our sister Company Town blog.)
A Universal spokeswoman said that “The Thing” was not yet ready and that the studio was very keen on the new “Fast & Furious” movie, citing the successful release of the franchise’s fourth film in April 2009.
There’s so much wrong with this that it’s hard to know where to begin…
•READ: Free AK-47 offered with truck purchase:
A Florida truck dealer is offering free AK-47 assault rifles to customers who purchase used trucks.
Meanwhile, in another part of the forest…
•READ: Police called on NY kids’ cupcake sale:
Some parents in a New York City suburb are upset because a local politician called police on two 13-year-old boys for selling cupcakes and other baked goods without a permit.
So. What to say about that? Cupcakes = bad. AK-47′s = good. Strange, strange world we live in.