::FORTY FIVE::

Jeanette hands me a cup of coffee and I move back a little, making room for her to sit in front of me on our back porch, offering her my hand as she steps gracefully over one of the planters. It’s mid-summer and our yard is a riot of the pink daisies she loves so much. They fill every planter and space in the garden now, and I know that she still loves to sit back here. She kicks off her heels and stretches her toes out in front of her, pressing herself into my chest. Her laugh is still a deep purr that can be felt right through her back. “Do we have time to fool around before she gets here?”
Continue reading →

::FORTY FOUR::

It’s twenty seven steps from one side of the room to the other. Thirteen, sometimes fourteen, of those steps to cross from one side of the table to the other. I know only because I’ve counted it, over and over again as I paced back and forth. “You’re going to wear a hole in that floor, Vetter.” What do I say? Do I laugh, or say something clever? I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Someone asked me for my name earlier when we first got here and I actually forgot what it was. I just stood there trying to think what my name could be. If Alvarez wasn’t here she would have never known that I was supposed to be here at all, and we would have gotten escorted out of the building. We had gotten here early and I don’t think it was something Alvarez intended, I just think I was driving him crazy with my nervous pacing at the house. Now I’m pacing here. I don’t know if it’s better or worse.
Continue reading →

::FORTY THREE::

The soft knock at the back door sounds strange and at first I thought I had to be dreaming. I woke immediately when I heard the door open. It only sounds strange because I’m listening to it from outside. It’s Alvarez, being quiet, but he’s still making sure he makes enough noise to let me know he’s there. My hand soothes over Jeanette’s arm, coming to rest against her hand and tracing over her ring, she hasn’t woken yet; she loves to sleep and I love to watch her. “I put the coffee on; I’ll give you a few minutes to get up.” He’s crouched down by my side, whispering quietly so he won’t wake up ‘Nette.
Continue reading →

::FORTY TWO::

I had fallen asleep as we had curled up together on the porch glider out back. I insisted she go back to her book, all I wanted was to sit with her. To just be with her. It was a little strange at first because when we’re around each other, all we want to do is touch each other, but this was nice too. I shifted the pillows around and got comfortable before pulling her to my chest, letting her curl up. One foot outstretched to slowly rock us. I had watched over her shoulder as she read the same page what must have been a dozen times before she fell into her book too.
Continue reading →

::FORTY ONE::

She said yes. I couldn’t breathe and I thought I would die if I kept kissing her. Swallowing hard, I pulled her tightly to my chest and buried my nose in her hair, just trying to breathe and not cry. I’m not doing a very good job of it though. She said yes.
Continue reading →

::FORTY::

I couldn’t sleep. I was too excited, too nervous. We had packed when we got back, and left the bags by the door. I wanted to make slow love to her; I wanted to curl up with her, to sleep with her, to talk to her. I wanted to squeeze her so tight she begged for release, I wanted to have room service send up coffee and cookies all night. I wanted all of that and more. I wanted everything; my heart raced, my mind raced. In the end I held her gently, and lost myself in the scent of her hair. Strawberries and that scent from the beach that never seems to leave once you’ve been there. We pulled all of the pillows and blankets from the bed and went outside to curl up together on the deck chair. It wasn’t our back porch, not even close, but it would do. I still couldn’t sleep.
Continue reading →

::THIRTY NINE::

“I hope you know Vetter, that without you here to use as an excuse on Sunday mornings, Adriana managed to drag me off to church this morning.” I had asked Hicks to give me a minute while I called Alvarez; I don’t have the contacts to arrange a non-civilian flight from here. I had thought I would have caught him at home, or maybe at work. Instead, Alvarez and I are both talking to each other, standing outside church. I still haven’t let go of Jeanette’s hand.
Continue reading →

::THIRTY EIGHT::

I love the rain, more than anything else now, save her, because of her, I love the rain. I used to hate the stuff when I lived here and thought it was depressing, now it’s a reason to pull her close to me and curl under a blanket with her, her back nestled into my chest and my hand across the warm curve of her belly. It’s been hot for days here, the guy who brought us up breakfast said, and it’s finally breaking now.
Continue reading →

::THIRTY SEVEN::

“Brubaker’s going after Douglas, Vetter.”

Jeanette and I took a long walk after finishing up at the laundromat. We could have taken a cab back, but it was nice to just walk with her through my old neighbourhood. There isn’t much left of my old school anymore but we walked by that too, and stopped for pop at a tiny corner store. The lady behind the counter still remembered me. Jeanette’s in the bathroom right now, fixing her hair.
Continue reading →

::THIRTY SIX::

I’m dying to just wake her up. It’s one of those rare LA mornings where everything’s quiet and for just a moment all you can hear are the birds; you never really hear the birds here. In an hour, probably less, the city will be full of the sounds of cars and traffic and all other sorts of noise, but for right now it’s nice, it’s perfect. Even the sky is clear for a change. I never realized how much I loved the quiet until I was away from here, how often I waited for just this time, when I could hear nothing. We had left the curtains open last night and the rising sun paints the room in a pale gold light. Paints her in that light. I can’t remember the last time I was ever this happy, grinning like a fool when I snuck carefully out of bed. Quietly ordering breakfast and asking about the hotel’s laundry service. They’d have our laundry ready on the day after we left to go back home; as funny as that is, it’ll never do and I’ll have to think of something else. Getting half dressed to answer the door. The kid they’ve got delivering room service this morning didn’t look like he was having a great day but I think my goofy grin is infectious, and he’s smiling begrudgingly by the time he slumps away down the hall.
Continue reading →