Worst Sex Lies, Famous Writers Take On Twilight, and Evil Cream Cheese! [I read stuff]

Wherein I read things, laugh, and pass them on to you…

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Best (Worst?) Sex Lies of 2011:

Well, my plans to blog some of the best of 2011 totally fell apart, and for that I apologize. I thought I would make it up to you by compiling a list of some of my favorite (or most disturbing) moments in sexual misinformation. These are some of the strangest, most dunderheaded, or most appalling falsehoods of the year, at least when it comes to doin’ it. You’d think Americans in 2011 wouldn’t be so dumb, but sadly, we have a long way to go before we start getting smarter about sex.

[pandagon.net/Amanda Marcotte/31 Dec 2011]

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Heavy Metal stuck on the brain

There’s so much metal out that that’s just yummy but it’s the movie, and the soundtrack, that’s been stuck in my brain for the past day.

So, in honour:

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“Heavy Metal” Theme: Takin’ A Ride / Don Felder

Also, read: Loknar, a short story, posted here…

Summary: Years pass. The Loknar returns and finds another weak willed person willing to do its bidding. Who will rise this time?

Time Scapes, Dystopia is now, Looks like a gun, and terrible sex in fiction! [I read stuff]

Wherein I read things, laugh, and pass them on to you…

TimeScapes 4K:

Presented without comment because, really, what could I say that this beautiful video doesn’t say for me?

[Timescapes / via gizmodo]

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Vamp Wars!, Batista on Riddick 3, and the new sex guide [I read stuff]

Wherein I read things, laugh, and pass them on to you…

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Anne Rice picks a fight with Stephenie Meyer: “Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle”:

Over on Anne Rice’s Facebook, the author of Interview with the Vampire has some interesting words about the undead creatures who sparkle. Her first post posed a bit of a loaded question, linking to an article from the University of North Dakota:

And then there is this other really pressing issue: should vampires sparkle? Think before you speak! This is probably the most important issue facing our time!!! (I have a suspicion that Louis, Lestat and Armand will refuse to discuss this. But then you know how contrary and difficult they can be.)…

She later revealed how her beloved characters Lestat and Louie would react to the Twilight creatures dreamed up by Meyer:

Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. They would never hurt immortals who choose to spend eternity going to high school over and over again in a small town —— anymore than they would hurt the physically disabled or the mentally challenged. My vampires possess gravitas. They can afford to be merciful.

[io9.com Meredith Woerner Nov 2, 2011]

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Sexism isn’t sexy, but these women are! [I read stuff]

Wherein I read things, laugh, and pass them on to you…

Mmmmmm….an ice cream hamburger – sounds pretty good actually!

For what it’s worth, The Gender Genie has me writing almost exclusively as a male and, while I’m sure I’m not a great big douchebaggy male like this guy, apparently he should have a hard time telling if I have girly parts due to my scribblings:

Male Novelist Can Always Spot Female Writers By How Much They Suck:

Anna North: Nobel Prize-winning novelist V.S. Naipaul has helpfully explained why women will never be great writers like him. It’s because they’re not “masters of a house.”

Naipaul shared his insights with the London Evening Standard, saying, “I read a piece of writing and within a paragraph or two I know whether it is by a woman or not. I think [it is] unequal to me.” The reason: a lady-writer will betray her “sentimentality, the narrow view of the world.” Also, “inevitably for a woman, she is not a complete master of a house, so that comes over in her writing too.” It’s not clear what Naipaul thinks about gay ladies or ladies who live alone, but it is clear how he feels about his former editor (Diana Athill, perhaps):

My publisher, who was so good as a taster and editor, when she became a writer, lo and behold it was all this feminine tosh. I don’t mean this in any unkind way.

No offense! None of this is entirely surprising coming from Naipaul, whose authorized biography revealed his violence toward his mistress, cruelty to his wife, and general narcissism. Paul Theroux once wrote that Naipaul in the nineties was “an excellent candidate for anger management classes, sensitivity training, psychotherapy, marriage guidance, grief counselling and driving lessons –- none of which he pursued.”

Despite the unreliability of the source, it’s worth questioning one of the basic premises of Naipaul’s argument — can readers, in fact, tell the difference between men’s and women’s writing? The Guardian has set up a quiz to determine just that — despite my two writing degrees, I scored an unimpressive six out of ten. No word on whether Naipaul has yet taken the quiz. Another popular test is The Gender Genie, which takes in chunks of user-submitted text and tries to guess the gender of the writer. According to the Genie, the author of this post was a man.

[jezebel.com]

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I read stuff

Wherein I read things, laugh, and pass them on to you…

Introducing: Our first-ever Good Sex awards: Last fall, I wrote a column about the Bad Sex in Fiction Award presented annually by the Literary Review in Britain. “No one raises an eyebrow if you talk about what doesn’t strike you as erotic,” I kvetched, suggesting that praising good depictions of sex would require a lot more nerve. Writing well about sex — one of life’s most delightful and important activities — is difficult, so instead of sneering and sniggering at the authors who get it wrong, why not celebrate the ones who succeed?[salon] Continue reading

The Handwritten Letter, an Art All but Lost, Thrives in Prison

Jeremy W. Peters/NYT, January 7, 2011

To the Georgia Department of Corrections he is inmate No. 544319, in prison on a five-year sentence for drug possession. But to the editors of Maxim, he is Mike Bolick, a faithful reader and regular letter writer who has loopy penmanship and an eye for beautiful cover models.
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